Notes from Behind the Keyboard - August 27th 2014

[caption id="attachment_1558" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel Webelo's Uniform[/caption]

.

Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. The article you see below is a very dark article. It was written from a dark place, and of a dark place. If you have ever been diagnosed with cancer, then you know the darkness of which I speak. I will make no apologies for writing that article, nor for the content therein. Honestly, I feel betrayed… abandoned… alone.

.

For me, there is reason for hope. Yet, it exists just beyond my reach. A reason for happiness, a reason for jubilance, a reason for hope for a life continued. Now, Imaging yourself just within reach of… a healthier life. Now, imagine that life… is just about $5,000.00 beyond everything you have in the world. All your money in the bank, all of your personal assets, all your holdings, all your real estate. Imagine, if you will that health and life and happiness are just outside you means. How would you feel?

.

I know that pain, I am living it every moment of every day… from now… on. That is the place for which the article below was written. Can you imagine? Can you, My Dears, for one moment imagine how it must feel to have; health, life, and beating Cancer! Just out if reach? I can. I feel it right now, as I write these words. Ten days ago I started a campaign to help me pay for the costs, I knew would come, with a fight against cancer. Yesterday I had to sit and watch as the person I have shared my life with, for the past twenty-seven years, got his hopes raised high by an oncologist. An oncologist that does not know the limited means Allen and I make it through life… month after month.

.

Each and every month, between the two of us, were bring in just enough money to; pay the rent, pay for one cellular phone, pay for internet access in our home, pay $8 a month for Netflix, pay for food, pay for the ‘uncovered’ part of my medications and appointments, and pay for clothing for Allen to replace his old clothes, so he can work at a Kohl’s department store.

.

Twice, to three times a month, we will spend $20 or $30 on a new shirt of pants for Allen. THAT’S IT! We live on less than $1,200.00 a month! Now, I am diagnosed with cancer… (FYI- I wrote on Facebook FIVE MONTHS BEOFRE ‘they’ diagnosed me.. that I had “Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma’… my oncologist and Allen say it’s “Creepy”…) and with this diagnosis I am terrified! Terrified because I am the one that does all the household accounting and I know that we cannot afford for me to have cancer. Hence, the campaign:

.

Danny’s Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo

.

$10.00

.

In ten days I have managed to raise ten dollars. Aye, there’s the rub! My Dear Readers, I spent that $10.00 just getting to and from my oncologist, yesterday. This is the ‘dark place’ from which that article originated... and it is my new ‘home address’. Honestly? I hold out no hope for help. Honestly? I fear that the hearts and minds of many-to-all of the people that I grew up with had their minds and hearts hardened againstmy plight.

.

So, I live… eat… sleep… and create in and from this very dark place.

.

ROFLMFAO Nobody here, when I set foot outside this home, knows the pain and darkness that surrounds me. Even my oncologist proclaimed

.

“How well you have faced your life challenges and kept a ‘Good Outlook’!”

.

WHY? Because I do not believe in displaying my; sadness, upset, disappointment, sorrow, fears, and lack of faith. I keep them well hid. That is the way I (we) were raised down south. Hide everything. However, when I come here… to this blog… I allow myself to be true. For, if I am not true to myself in my writing? Then who could possibly trust me? You, My Dear Readers, can trust me. I do not have the financial means to meet the obligations involved in fighting this cancer. Without assistance I will be forced to fail to get surgeries I need, and chemotherapy that will save my life. That is the reason for my campaign.

.

What? Is the reason for there being so little help… donations to my campaign? I have no idea. I have tried; printing and handing out newsletter/flyers in and around my neighborhood, linked the campaign to each and every article written and published, and yes I have even paid for advertising on; Facebook, YouTube, and Google to the tune of about $80.00. $80 that could have been spent… well, on any number of necessities. I will keep writing, keep posting, keep fighting, keep… moving forward.

.

Below is the video I shot just prior to the arrival of my transportation to the oncologist’s appointment.

.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Z0SGPlxiLm4]

.

As I have explained, the oncologist was hopeful, Allen was hopeful, and I sat there feeling like I was at one of those ‘Dare to be Great!” seminars. I was the only one, sitting there, that understood that the expense of what he had planned was clearly out of my reach!

.

Below is the video I shot, just before the transportation arrived to take us home.

.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/2XfstiCOxWs]

.

I would very much like to write that “Help has arrived! I will be able to afford the care I need… I WILL BEAT THIS CANCER!” You have no idea just how much I would like to write those words here, and mean them. Maybe. Maybe it will happen. I just cannot see it, from this dark place.

.

I hope that everyone is well and happy. Come back tomorrow for more… I will be venturing back to more familiar works and articles.

.

Adieu!

.

Thank YOU!

.

PLEASE DONATE to

Danny's Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo

[caption id="attachment_3338" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Danny in Rolling Hills Estates August 12, 2014[/caption]

PLEASE GIVE!?!

.

© 2010 – 2014 Hanning Web Wurx and The Other Shoe