Notes from Behind the Keyboard - August 27th 2014

[caption id="attachment_1558" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel Webelo's Uniform[/caption]

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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. The article you see below is a very dark article. It was written from a dark place, and of a dark place. If you have ever been diagnosed with cancer, then you know the darkness of which I speak. I will make no apologies for writing that article, nor for the content therein. Honestly, I feel betrayed… abandoned… alone.

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For me, there is reason for hope. Yet, it exists just beyond my reach. A reason for happiness, a reason for jubilance, a reason for hope for a life continued. Now, Imaging yourself just within reach of… a healthier life. Now, imagine that life… is just about $5,000.00 beyond everything you have in the world. All your money in the bank, all of your personal assets, all your holdings, all your real estate. Imagine, if you will that health and life and happiness are just outside you means. How would you feel?

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I know that pain, I am living it every moment of every day… from now… on. That is the place for which the article below was written. Can you imagine? Can you, My Dears, for one moment imagine how it must feel to have; health, life, and beating Cancer! Just out if reach? I can. I feel it right now, as I write these words. Ten days ago I started a campaign to help me pay for the costs, I knew would come, with a fight against cancer. Yesterday I had to sit and watch as the person I have shared my life with, for the past twenty-seven years, got his hopes raised high by an oncologist. An oncologist that does not know the limited means Allen and I make it through life… month after month.

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Each and every month, between the two of us, were bring in just enough money to; pay the rent, pay for one cellular phone, pay for internet access in our home, pay $8 a month for Netflix, pay for food, pay for the ‘uncovered’ part of my medications and appointments, and pay for clothing for Allen to replace his old clothes, so he can work at a Kohl’s department store.

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Twice, to three times a month, we will spend $20 or $30 on a new shirt of pants for Allen. THAT’S IT! We live on less than $1,200.00 a month! Now, I am diagnosed with cancer… (FYI- I wrote on Facebook FIVE MONTHS BEOFRE ‘they’ diagnosed me.. that I had “Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma’… my oncologist and Allen say it’s “Creepy”…) and with this diagnosis I am terrified! Terrified because I am the one that does all the household accounting and I know that we cannot afford for me to have cancer. Hence, the campaign:

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Danny’s Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo

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$10.00

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In ten days I have managed to raise ten dollars. Aye, there’s the rub! My Dear Readers, I spent that $10.00 just getting to and from my oncologist, yesterday. This is the ‘dark place’ from which that article originated... and it is my new ‘home address’. Honestly? I hold out no hope for help. Honestly? I fear that the hearts and minds of many-to-all of the people that I grew up with had their minds and hearts hardened againstmy plight.

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So, I live… eat… sleep… and create in and from this very dark place.

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ROFLMFAO Nobody here, when I set foot outside this home, knows the pain and darkness that surrounds me. Even my oncologist proclaimed

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“How well you have faced your life challenges and kept a ‘Good Outlook’!”

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WHY? Because I do not believe in displaying my; sadness, upset, disappointment, sorrow, fears, and lack of faith. I keep them well hid. That is the way I (we) were raised down south. Hide everything. However, when I come here… to this blog… I allow myself to be true. For, if I am not true to myself in my writing? Then who could possibly trust me? You, My Dear Readers, can trust me. I do not have the financial means to meet the obligations involved in fighting this cancer. Without assistance I will be forced to fail to get surgeries I need, and chemotherapy that will save my life. That is the reason for my campaign.

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What? Is the reason for there being so little help… donations to my campaign? I have no idea. I have tried; printing and handing out newsletter/flyers in and around my neighborhood, linked the campaign to each and every article written and published, and yes I have even paid for advertising on; Facebook, YouTube, and Google to the tune of about $80.00. $80 that could have been spent… well, on any number of necessities. I will keep writing, keep posting, keep fighting, keep… moving forward.

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Below is the video I shot just prior to the arrival of my transportation to the oncologist’s appointment.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/Z0SGPlxiLm4]

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As I have explained, the oncologist was hopeful, Allen was hopeful, and I sat there feeling like I was at one of those ‘Dare to be Great!” seminars. I was the only one, sitting there, that understood that the expense of what he had planned was clearly out of my reach!

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Below is the video I shot, just before the transportation arrived to take us home.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/2XfstiCOxWs]

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I would very much like to write that “Help has arrived! I will be able to afford the care I need… I WILL BEAT THIS CANCER!” You have no idea just how much I would like to write those words here, and mean them. Maybe. Maybe it will happen. I just cannot see it, from this dark place.

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I hope that everyone is well and happy. Come back tomorrow for more… I will be venturing back to more familiar works and articles.

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!

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PLEASE DONATE to

Danny's Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo

[caption id="attachment_3338" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Danny in Rolling Hills Estates August 12, 2014[/caption]

PLEASE GIVE!?!

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© 2010 – 2014 Hanning Web Wurx and The Other Shoe

Notes From Behind the Keyboard - Post Surgery

[caption id="attachment_2868" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Danny Hanning of The Other Shoe - May 6th, 2014[/caption]

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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. I am happy to announce that my surgery “went well” and that “we got all of…” the “growth” that had made its home on my face. I am now sporting; stitches, a ‘butterfly’ bandage, and one of those really big waterproof bandages on my face. If you watch the video, below, then you will see the large waterproof bandage. I am still in quite a bit of pain, surgery on your face is particularly painful as we have so many nerves in our faces.

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I did not have the opportunity to speak with my surgeon, Dr. Nguyen, post surgery. However, Allen did get to talk to my surgeon. He was told that the surgery went well, actually better than expected, and that he managed to get all of the growth removed. This was not a certainty prior to surgery, due to the location of this growth. Sitting, as it was, directly below the parietal gland and adjacent to several nerve bundles he was not certain he could remove it all without nerve damage.

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Further, he told Allen that; it was not an ‘inflamed salivary gland’ nor was it a ‘swollen lymph node’ as Dr. Reddy had diagnosed. Unfortunately, Dr. Nguyen did not elaborate as to what it was. That’s not a problem, I am thrilled that it is removed, that it was done without any nerve damage, that my smile is perfect and that I am well. I just love counting my blessings, and not dwelling on the unknown, it makes for a happier healthier lifetime.

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As to the results of the biopsy, those will not be available for several days. They told me that it would be Tuesday at the earliest, and Friday at the latest. He did tell Allen that he wanted me for a follow-up visit this coming week. I am going to have to look at Allen’s schedule, and once I have that, call and schedule a new appointment. My Dear Readers, now is when I take the time to express my deep and heartfelt “Thanks!” for your kindness and support. All day, Friday, I was getting comments and well wishes from all of you and my friends.

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I simply cannot put into words (not something that happens, often, with me) just how wonderful it feels to awake from surgery to see your comments and support. Your words lifted me and carried me, during this stressful and difficult time. Thank you!

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Now, for those of the mind, there is a very short video below. I hope that everyone that wants, takes a few moments and watches. I will do my best to keep you all abreast of any, and all, updates. I hope to return to my regular publishing schedule just as soon as possible. I hope that everyone has a great weekend!

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/e6tLwlbJ4Pg]

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!

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© 2010 – 2014 Hanning Web Wurx for The Other Shoe

Notes From Behind the Keyboard - July 28th 2014

[caption id="attachment_2868" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Danny Hanning of The Other Shoe - May 6th, 2014[/caption]

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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. I have, just now, sat down to write this edition of ‘Notes From behind the Keyboard’ for today and it is nearly 7PM Pacific Time. That means that, for all my readers in Mid-West and Texas, it is already 9PM. This is not how I had things planned out, for today. I really wanted to have this puppy published by 9PM Central time. Regardless I am going to write this and publish, tonight. Most likely I will promote this article tomorrow, Tuesday July 29^th 2014.

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Well, My Dear Readers, today was my first visit to the surgeon. This is the surgeon that I was referred to by my Infectious Disease & Oncologist, Thursday of last week. Here’s what I managed to find out, today. First, the ‘growth’ on my jaw line is not; a lymph node, an infected salivary gland, or anything “normal” or “naturally occurring”. Bottom line? There is more of a probability of this “growth” being cancerous than not. Still, there is no evidence (so far) to definitively state that I “have cancer”. Conversely, there is no definitive evidence that I do not have cancer.

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This is about the point, in the conversation with a doctor, where they ‘remind’ you that ‘medicine is more of an art than a science…”. Between you, My Dear Readers, and me? Horsefeathers! Next, the ‘placement’ of this growth is “highly problematic”. In that it is actually sitting right between my parietal gland and the ‘nerve bundle responsible for movement of the left side of my face’! JOY! Translation: one ‘false move’ and I ‘could’ find the left side of my face… … … (drum roll, please) “Paralyzed”!

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It is about this time that I start inspecting (what soon be) my surgeon’s hands. I quickly notice; he does not have his fingers manicured (nor maintain them well on his own), his fingers (on both hands) are dry and slightly chapped, and that just between the knuckles of his third and forth finger there is a good sized scrape on his hand. I express my concerns on the maintenance of his hands, being a surgeon and all. [Remember my father worked for three orthopedic surgeons for more than 30 years].

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I, respectfully, express my concerns noting the scrape on his left hand. At this point Dr. Nguyen start a conversation that ends up lasting nearly and hour. I discuss my medical history; father X-Ray technician worked towards Radiologist prior to his death to cancer, mother who (at age 58) became an R.N. and my five years as a ‘Level Five’ Pharmacy Technician at Long Beach Memorial Hospital

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(FYI the clinic I am in at this time, and the all the doctors I have seen about this problem so far are all Memorial Hospital doctors)

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And I explain my medical background and knowledge, as well as my story of the typewriter dropping on my head in August of 1987. After the hour-long conversation ends, I am more comfortable with Dr. Nguyen being my surgeon for this ‘lump removal’. We have reached an understanding that if the placement of this lump is such that he is concerned that there could be nerve damage that he is to “just get needle biopsy of the growth and close”. We have reached an ‘understanding’ that has left me confident that I will not come out of this surgery… ‘damaged’ to the point I would have to stop making videos.

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As well, Dr. Nguyen tells me that I am a ‘very astute’ patient, and he is somewhat impressed with my “outlook on life” considering the adversities I have faced. I express my deep and heartfelt thanks for his kind and generous comments. Hang on, let me backtrack… The whole conversation about the surgery, today, STARTED with Dr. Nguyen asking me “how are we going to put you under?” This is a question couched in his serious concerns about the state/condition of my cervical fusion.

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He expressed, to me, his concerns that I might (under general anesthesia) I might relax my neck and cause my (damaged) spine to… stop my breathing. We, later, conclude that he is not going to ‘put me under’ but rather just get me “really relaxed” and use local anesthesia, instead. I agree with his decision… this is also a ‘Good Thing’ for him keeping his distance from the nerves in this area. I really do not want to end up with a lopsided smile… or face. I am working against enough ‘deficits’ right now… I certainly do not need my face to look like I have experienced a stroke!

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So, My Dear Readers, I am scheduled to have my surgery at Memorial Coast Hospital on Friday August 1^st, 2014 at 12:30PM. I will check into the hospital about 10AM so that they can get a chest X-Ray… (YES, my doctors have concerns about me having cancer… I smoked for thirty years… and nobody has called for a chest x-ray in more than two years!... Brilliant, yes?), and they want to run a cardiogram. These are very good ideas to have these tests done prior to any surgery. I expect to be discharged later Friday evening, Friday night.

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I will make sure that I have finished writing and published ‘The Horror in Smithville – The Missing Chapters – Part Three’ prior to leaving to the hospital Friday morning. I know how many of you, My Dear Readers, are… ,like, addicted to this intellectual property and I do not want to put anyone through an uncomfortable weekend! However, quite honestly with all this cancer stuff and surgery on the mind I am not too sure just how much ‘other’ writing and publishing I will get done… this week. Honestly, My Dear Readers, I just cannot (right now with the ‘cancer’ thingy hanging over my head) get excited about ‘The Mars Report’, ‘Lost In Space’ or ‘Sunday Funnies’.

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I am NOT abandoning any of my regular article series. However, I am going to take a bit of a step… away, and devote more of my time to writing ‘The Horror in Smithville’ and… well relaxing and trying to get my head wrapped around… ‘Cancer’. I really want to be mentally prepared for the worst-case scenario. I do not want any ‘Bad News’ to send me into a spiral of depression. Seriously? If I am diagnosed with any kind of cancer?

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I want to; engage the best resources that I can get on Medicare and Medi-Cal, spend any & all spare time writing and finishing ‘The Horror in Smithville’ so that I might be able to send it out to publishers, and spend as much time as is humanly possible engaged in the pursuit of writing ‘The Adventures of Princess Nadia – Part One – The Healing Light’! You see, My Dear Readers, I really want to make sure that (if I am diagnosed… and I find that my time here is limited) I have finished writing as much and as many of my intellectual properties as I can! I do this for several reasons, not the least of which is that I really want to provide for Allen (my partner for the past 27 years) to the best of my ability.

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I am hoping that I am found CLEAR of Cancer! That is my deepest hope and dream! However, if I am found to have cancer… I would like to get enough (quality) cancer treatment so that I might have several – five years of life. You see, My Dear Readers, I have given this whole situation a great deal of thought. If I were to have three to five years I could finish all the intellectual properties that I have planned, at this time. I have (in my head) the workings of; three novels based in/around Timmy & Archer of ‘The Horror in Smithville’. The very next book, after the one I am currently sharing here at The Other Shoe, will take place later that year around Christmas.

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I have, right now, three books outlined in my head based in/on ‘The Horror in Smithville’ and ‘Timmy & Archer’. I, also, have the plot lines, and outlines for three (of the five I want to do) novels based on/around ‘The Adventures of Princess Nadia’. Just to make it all fun, and to add some commercial viability to these IP(s)? I have intertwined the two intellectual properties, at several points, in ‘The Horror in Smithville’ and have plans to do the same within the first two books of the ‘Adventures of Princess Nadia’ series, too. This is why I would prefer to have some time… for to be found cancer free!

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I mean, honestly, everyone wants to be cancer free! That is a given… It is just that I am thinking about this a lot… and (now) two doctors have expressed their (grave) concerns that I may have cancer. I know it is ‘reckless’ for doctors to express concerns about a patient having cancer before they know. It is, also, kind of ‘reckless’ for a neurosurgeon to express his concerns about me becoming a Para Quadra pelagic from a simple slip-and-fall… and that has happened, too. Honestly, I would rather my doctors feel comfortable expressing their concerns.

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I would rather hear that my neurosurgeon thinks that my previous surgeon, the one that performed the cervical fusion, “created a hinge in your cervical spine between your cervical and thoracic spine”. I would rather know these things. I would rather be prepared, than not. Thing of it is? By August 7^th I will know if I have cancer, or not. Further, just as soon as I know, My Dear Readers, I will publish and let you know too. I no more want to keep you all in the dark, than I want to be in the dark myself.

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That brings us to the end of this edition of ‘Notes From Behind the Keyboard’. In closing, I would like to express my sincere and heartfelt gratitude that Dr. Thang Nguyen is to be my surgeon, this week. I was very flattered by the compliments he paid men, while we were talking today. I have the utmost confidence in his abilities, and hope that if I am diagnosed with cancer… and need further surgeries that he would continue to be my surgeon, in the future.

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My Dear Readers, I want to express my deep and heartfelt thanks to all of you for your time, your ‘Likes’ your ‘Shares’ (on social media) and your continued support in this, my time of greatest need. I look forward to continuing this great and fruitful relationship for just as long as it is possible. Even with the worst possible outcome, I want you to understand that I will press myself to provide the best and most entertaining and enjoyable content and writing as long as I am able.

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!

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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="234"] PLEASE shop at The Other Shoe eBay Store![/caption]

.http://www.ebay.com/usr/enzomatrixlt

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[caption id="attachment_2866" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Danny Hanning of The Other Shoe - May 6th, 2014[/caption]

Notes from Behind the Keyboard - June 19th, 2014

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[caption id="attachment_2868" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Danny Hanning of The Other Shoe - May 6th, 2014[/caption]

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Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. Today is Wednesday June 18^th, 2014, and it is about 5PM PDT here on the West Coast. I have just shot a short ‘video update’ of me, about my health, my blog, and life in general. With all good fortune, I will have this video edited, uploaded, and published by the end of the day. Most hopefully, I will have it ready for viewing before everyone I know and love in Texas is asleep.

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If not, I will be promoting the video and this article for the rest of the week. I just might, even, pay the $6.99 to have it ‘promoted’ of Facebook. It would be nice if, like, everyone (back home) knew about the video and had/took a chance to view. There is really nothing (of note) new in my life, my world. Oh, there is this pesky illness… fevers, night sweats, lack of appetite, and a lump on my jawbone and swollen lymph nodes. They (my doctors) have run all sorts of blood tests. All of the ‘usual suspects’ have been ruled out. No, I do not have AIDs. Yes, they do keep running the darn test… year after year. Each year, it comes back negative.

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My infectious disease physician wants a C.T. scan (Computerized tomography) of my; face, jawbone, upper cervical spine. They are looking for the source of the infection and the source of the lumps. My primary care physician has already weighed in, with a possible diagnosis. He believes that I am suffering the results of an infection brought about by; a) the rejection of bone tissue used in my cervical surgery b) an infection secondary to the rejection of or metal poisoning from the hardware that was used in the cervical surgery. My money is on the bone rejection, and I have my reasons.

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The single best reason is; the neurosurgeon went in with the expressed desire to fuse three discs into one mass. However, once he got in to my neck he discovered that the (many): MRI(s), X-Ray(s) and other scans had not done justice to the extent and damage my cervical spine had endured from four years of moderate-to-severe degenerative disc disease. What he found was; extensive damage to half-a-dozen nerve roots, one cervical disc was completely desiccated and nearly “fell out” of its place between two discs, severe damage to two other discs, and moderate damage to two more, large amounts of “bone chips” resulting from “Bone-on=bone” grinding (like a mortar against a pestle) resulting from the loss of discs, severely ‘damaged and bruised” nerve roots (up to six were “worse than I have ever seen”), and severe degenerative disc disease all through the cervical and thoracic spine. He had prepared for the removal of two cervical discs. He ended up removing (I believe) three to four.

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He had reserved the operating room for three hours; I was in surgery for four and a half hours. Resulting in my neurosurgeon having to request more bone grafts during the surgery! Now for a little known factoid; prior to this type of surgery the surgeon ‘orders’ the number of ‘bone grafts’ he needs for the intended surgery 36 to 48 hours prior to the surgery. The bone grafts are then ‘prepared’ for 24-26 hours prior to a surgery. They are ‘prepared’ by (for one) being put into a bath of steroids and human growth hormone bath and a recombinant human bone morphogenetic protein solution. These aid in the bone, actually, grafting TO the surrounding bone, resulting in a sturdy and durable bond.

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Since my neurosurgeon did not order the correct number of bone graft pieces prior to surgery, one or more bone grafts were not properly prepared prior to implantation into my neck. As seen in follow-up X-Rays the “bone grafts did not fully knit” the my bones. This is the reason that, now, seven years later I still have popping, and grinding sounds coming from my cervical spine, shooting pains in; my upper chest, face, upper left arm, lower left arm, left hand. What this means is that the bone grafts never “completely knit” with the surrounding bone (mine), that the structure is not solid and “durable”. Further, the lack of the bones completely grafting has resulted in raw bone material lying inside the bone grafts.

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This material, since not healed and knit to other bones, is suspect to and frequently results in “opportunistic infections of the bones and bone grafts”. Aye, there’s the rub! With my limited medical education, I am putting my ‘money’ (I don’t really have any money… that’s why I put the parentheses). It is my opinion that the untreated bone grafts not only did not knit with my surrounding bone, but that they have fallen prey to an infectious state, resulting in the symptoms I am currently experiencing. Now, try and get one doctor to say that about another doctor.

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Next, the was an “mistake” made by an (admittedly by the corporation) “untrained” medical vendor. I was to have a ‘Bone Growth Stimulator’ placed on my neck, post surgery. Now, according to the company that manufactures the device the bone growth stimulator is to be “Placed on the patient seven to ten days after surgery”. Get a load of this! My bone growth stimulation device was placed on me… … … (drum roll please!) Within MINUTES of me being wheeled out of surgery! That’s right, while I was still under anesthesia, and only moments after my doctor closed the incision, and “untrained” salesperson from the company came and put the bone growth stimulator on me! She removed my solid neck brace, moved my head and neck and shifted me around as the placed four conductive pads around my cervical spine. I awoke, from surgery, with the device already installed!

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That is never supposed to happen, like ever! I figure that is a ‘contributing factor’ to the why my bone grafts “never fully knit”. Now, seven years later, I am having; fevers, night sweats, hot “lava feeling” pouring down my cervical spine, loss of appetite, dizziness, and fatigue. My Dear Readers, I cannot get to the scan that I really need done, for the lack of someone around to help me; get dressed, get into my power chair, get into transportation, get to an appointment, and reverse the process and get back home and back into bed. For all of those that have (reasonably) thought “Why doesn’t he get a lawyer?” I agree! I wish I had the help to get to a lawyer and see if I have a case.

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So, that is what weighs on my mind and this is what is causing me great distress, loss of sleep, and depression. My Dear Readers, I really do not like talking about all this, that is why (after FOUR YEARS) I have never, once, mentioned it or explained it to you, previously. Yet, I figured that it was time I gave the information to you… and time I documented this problem in a public forum.

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Regardless, I will do my level best to continue to write and publish on a regular basis. I will do my level best to bring you entertaining, and informative articles and content.

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It, just now, is 6:00PM PDT. The movie that I made is just now finishing up saving to my computer. Just as soon as that is complete, I will begin the upload to YouTube. Just as soon as that is done I will upload this article, embed the video and BAAM! I will publish this edition of ‘Note from Behind the Keyboard – June 18^th, 2014”. I will, then, go about promoting this article and posting on; Facebook, Tumblr, Pinitrest, and all the other media sites I belong in an effort to get it seen by as many people as possible. May I please, My Dear Readers, PLEASE ask you to ‘Share’ THIS article? I ‘think’ I may have a lawsuit… there is limited time to file… I cannot afford an attorney… However, IF this article is seen by LOTS and LOTS of people… maybe just MAYBE someone WILL see this article that… CAN… HELP… me.

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Please… ‘Share’ this article on; Facebook, Pinintrest, Google, Tumblr… any and ALL ‘social media’ outlets that you belong to. PLEASE? I might just find someone that can help me… and maybe… just maybe I can file a suit… win… and never have to ask for help from anyone for as long as I live. I might even get enough to pay Darrell (my brother) back!

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I wouldn’t ask… if I really didn’t need your help.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/bwERO0KDjM4]

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That brings us to the end of this edition of ‘Notes from Behind the Keyboard’. Below is a video, the one that I mentioned. It would mean the world to me if you would, please… kindly, please… ‘Share’ this article and this video. It might just help to change the course of my life… for the better. I appreciate all your kindness, support, understanding and continued readership.

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!

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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="234"] The Other Shoe eBay Store[/caption]

http://www.ebay.com/usr/enzomatrixlt

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[caption id="attachment_2866" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Danny Hanning of The Other Shoe - May 6th, 2014[/caption]