August 21st, 2013 Danny & Campaign Update

               Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. Today was another busy day, and I finally got some sun. I have been looking on Craigslist for a studio apartment or like accommodation. It is something you need to do every day, and keep current th the listings. However, not many viable leads. That is why, today, I had my caregiver go out into this neighborhood to look for available rentals. First, I learned a lot about looking through Craigslist. The first of which, ‘if it looks too good, it is too good.’ A 2brd/2bth for $500 a month? RFOLOL Answer it, and you get an email directing you to a ‘Credit Report For Free’ type site. Yeap, before I even thought about answering Googled and sure enough, it is a very common scam to get people to pay for a credit report and the referring person (that ran an ad for a 2brm/2bth for $500) gets money.

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So, I though I would look through the neighborhood, look for ‘Step Mother’ houses and Owner managed properties. These are the type of properties that I can qualify for, still, and they are generally lower in price than properties owned and managed by large corporate real estate companies. We spent three hours out, visited a couple of churches in the area, too. They had ‘Community Boards’ but nothing for rent right now. I am going to keep checking Craigslist and tomorrow I am going back out and head in a different direction.

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Three applications/answers to ads for Craigslist, today. One was a really nice ‘Granny House’ for $700 and (unfortunately) an upstairs 1Bdr/1Bth for $633. The later is in a Senior Only apartment, which is a ‘Good Thing’.

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So, that is all for today’s update. Got a lot of sun. Answered several ads. Covered a good size of area in the local neighborhood. Sleep. Repeat tomorrow.

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Oh, yeah. Hope everyone enjoyed the ‘The Story of Daniel – Flashback’ I posted before I left for my apartment search. It was a lot of fun writing, and it was another one of those articles that I sat down, and it just happened. Actually, it started out as an article about… well, something entirely different. Right before my eyes the whole article, like, morphed.

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I am enjoying the direction it is going, though. I decided to make it FOUR parts. Today, Thrusday, Friday and Saturday morning. [Because the campaign ends Saturday afternoon. Remember that, Saturday afternoon.]

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As always, it is an honor for me, that you come here to my blog and read my work.

“Thank YOU!”

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Please Share & HELP?!?

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The Story of Daniel... Flashback! Part One

          Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. Today… this article will be, well, out of the norm. I am not sure just who from Pearland or PHS. That might be reading this, remembers me back this far. However, here goes. Before I became involved in choir and drama, I had another great love. SCIENCE!

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In elementary school and middle school I had a great love and curiosity for all things scientific. I think that my middle brother, Darrell, knew this about me and it is why he turned me on to the Science Fiction genera of literature when I was… about 11. I do not know if Darrell remembers, but I do. It was summer… we used to spend summers… prior to and after summer vacation, reading. Our mother would take us to the library, when we still lived on Thrush street in Houston, often.

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First reason, it was cool in the library and having two young sons on a tight budget? It was a great way to cool these boys down cheaply on a hot summer’s day in Texas. Second, Mom loved reading and books… as did I and Darrell. Every year I would participate in a Summer reading Program at the public library. Read so many books, during the length of the summer. Keep track of the books you read (they also kept track at the library with the history of our library cards).  You kept track of the names of the books you read, and Mom would confirm the list.

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At the end of the summer? If you read enough books? You got a Free Pass to the Movies! It was only for a matinee and a children’s ticket. But it was a free movie pass! Every year, I remember taking home the huge pile of books to read. They would sit in a stack by my bed, those were the ones unread. On the chest of drawers, by the door to my/our room, was another pile. Those were the books I had already read. Each summer we stayed in the bedroom, every day reading book after book.

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There was  a third… less talked about and more… dark reason for the summer hibernation, in our house, by Darrell and myself. Darrel and I were born in the later part of the 1950’s. There was a terrible dark stalker… that did his work in the summer… when we were small boys. Am speaking of infantile paralysis also known as  Poliomyelitis… Polio.[1]This stalker did his work best during the shank of summer, from August till the weather cooled prior to returning to school.

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I know that mother really feared her sons ‘catching polio” back then. See, I had been born with a problem with both my legs, and as an infant I had to wear these large steel leg braces. They ‘corrected’ a birth defect I had, with both my legs. We were not the only family, in Texas at the time, which feared polio… and kept their children away from other children. I have memories of trying to talk to other boys, my age, in the library when I was elementary school aged. They always ran away, when I approached them.

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It was because they had their mother’s drill the same caution my mother did. Don’t talk to, or play with other children in the summer. Granted, it did end… well subside a bit, with the advent of the DDT trucks that came and laid down clouds of DDT to kill all the polio carrying mosquitoes. Our programmed fear of other children our own age, was replaced with the memory of us running behind the trucks playing in the clouds of DDT. Children packed the public pools, again. Parents breathed a sigh of relief. Kids, well we got to be kids again and play with other kids during summer.

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And, I did play with other kids, some. I still spent most of my time, in my room, reading books. I remember Darrell teaching me how to tie my shoes. I remember him teaching me how to play board games… and chess. It is clear,  in my head, almost like it happened yesterday. Darrell played a huge role in my life. Until we moved to Pearland. Now, don’t jump to conclusions. It was not the city. It was not the people. I It was our ages, that separated us. I know that now. Doesn’t stop me from missing him, even now.

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Science. We shared an interest in science, my middle brother and myself. Funny thing? When Darrell and I were no longer constant friends, I found a new friend… out in the garage. My father.  This is still about science, I am not drifting mentally (yet). Science with my brother was theoretical. We both read science fiction novels and enjoyed Sci-Fi movies.

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My father, on the other hand, was working with science, out in his garage. There? Science was a tangible reality. He taught me basic electronics; resistance, capacitance, MHz, and schematics. We worked on broken televisions, bring them back to life. Modifying my Father's DX-500 transmitter to a thousand watts. Connecting his Hammarlund receiver and the modified DX-500 transmitter to a phone cradle and connecting to a phone cradle and using it to connect parents here in America to their sons in Vietnam.

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My Dear Readers, I simply cannot produce content as quickly as I did… even a couple of weeks ago. The pain gets so intense that I am forced to stop. Take time resting… and let the pain subside. I am going to publish this article, now, as Part One. The next part will come later in the week. Once the pain subsides and I can sit up again.

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As always, it is a great honor that YOU My Dear Readers come to read my work. I love writing for you, sharing and seeing your ‘Likes’. It means the world to me.

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One last thing. I very much want to continue my; writing, posting, promoting but my impending move threatens our relationship. If I have to; sell my computer or put it into storage that will interfere with this relationship. I want to avoid any interruption in our process. I just need a little more help.

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I have worked very hard and been able to (THANKS TO THE GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS OF MY READERS/CONTRIBUTORS) raise enough money for: first month’s rent and a deposit for the one place I found that will accept me. Now, I just need further assistance to afford.

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The move itself.

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Please Share & HELP?!?

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[1]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poliomyelitis

Sunday Funnies on Tuesday August 20th, 2013

       Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe and a very tardy edition of ‘Sunday Funnies’. Sunday I was terribly depressed… well, I started being terribly depressed. So, I just wasn’t of the mind to publish last week’s edition of this fine series. To all my regular readers, I sincerely apologize.

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However, I am be morbidly depressed, but Alexander is not. Today he did the funniest thing, and thank God I caught it on video. Below, is the video of ‘Construction Alexander’. I hope that everyone enjoys the show. While you are watching I ask for just one thing. Will you think of giving? I am still quite short (yes, I am only 5’9”… but I am not talking about me)… quite short on contributions to my moving campaign.

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Please take a moment and help Alexander and myself afford to move to a new home? Thank you for your patronage, your support, your ‘Likes’ and your donations. My Dear Readers, you mean the world to me. Just that I would tell you.

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Enjoy!

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(Alexander Reconstructing His Home)

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Please Share & HELP?!?

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TODAY with Danny Hanning!

Dear Friends Family and Followers here at Facebook and at The Other Shoe,

It has been a VERY busy day, for me. I JUST NOW got home from; blood tests, hematology doctor visit and getting prescriptions filled. I got some 'none so good' news, today. I will write about that at a later time, as it is still just sinking in for me. (Hint... I saw a doctor of hematology... )

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I am sorry that I missed a very generous contribution, while I am having problems pulling up Indiegogo. I do NOT know; if it was anonymous, IF I can reveal the amount or any of that information. Just as soon as I confirm, I reveal all that I can.

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Last, sitting here... Alexander just did the most AMAZING (and amusing) thing. Thank God I caught it on video. SO! Better later than NEVER (my saying) last week's 'Sunday Funnies' will be show... TODAY!

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Just as soon as the video is processed YouTube the video will PREMIER at @ The Other Shoe! Just give me a little time... I am having some 'coordination' difficulties... today.

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THANK YOU! Everyone for all your kindness, support and love. You guys mean the WORLD to me. Thanks! :)

Danny Hanning

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Please Share & HELP?!?

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Facebook CHANGES!

I have just been made aware of a recent change to Facebook. Seems, from NOW ON you will ONLY see; Status Updates, Comments, Pictures ect... from ONLY by CLICKING 'Show In Feeds' and/or 'Close Friends'. Otherwise, you will see NOTHING all DAY! I wondered WHY my Facebook feed was BLANK the past couple of days!

I have MADE changes so that I 'SEE" from everyone from PHS and The Other Shoe followers. I suggest YOU do the same. I LOVE seeing your; Family pictures, Status Updates, Opinions on NEWS and EVERYTHING yuou all have to say. Eveidently Facebook... well, times they are a changing.

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I am making changes TODAY to make EVERYONE of my FRIENDs by CLICKING 'Show In Feeds' AND 'CLOSE FRIENDS'. I hope that I rate that, too.

Thank you for your support and understanding.

As always it is an HONOR to have you read my work. Take care and LTE's STICK TOGETHER!

Please SHARE & HELP?!?

August 19th Update From Danny

Dear Family, Friends and Followers here at Facebook and at @ The Other Shoe,

First I would like to express my deep and heartfelt “Thanks!” to all of you that have given, to my campaign to help me move. This weekend We moved forward to the tune of $50! I am extremely grateful to everyone that helped!

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With just SIX DAYS left, to the campaign to help me move. My heart is filled with thanks, but fear is in there, too. Right now I think I should have made the campaign a little longer. I have until September 27th before I am at the end of the sixty-day notice; I received just last month.

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I really had hoped to garner the support I so desperately need. By the end of this month truly. Again, I am not being ungrateful to everyone who has shown support. NOT just in donations. Support comes in many ways. Sharing Facebook posts, ‘Like’ing/Sharing The Other Shoe articles and commenting with your support means the world to me and gives me strength to forge onward. Without your comments, I would feel like I am just talking to myself.

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This building it has changed. In the most awful ways. Besides the daily; banging, yelling, slamming, dirt flying and dumpsters filling. The laundry rooms, here, are abandoned, even the homeless have broken into the machines. Everywhere you look here, now are signs of neglect.

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Nothing they are doing, to maintain the building for the people still here. They want us all to leave, as quickly as we can. This is evident by the garbage, the ignored laundry room. I fear that in staying. Expose myself to danger I will. If Stay I must, till the end of September. Keep my head down, I will.

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However, for the six days remaining. I will persevere. I will write, and post, and ask your support. Each and every day. I apologize sincerely for the inconvenience this causes. I do not mean to be a bother. A goal I have to meet. This is not fun for me to do, anymore than it is for you.

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So far I have found one property with potential. It is clean and well maintained. They have a ground floor vacancy, that I am sure that I can qualify. However, it is much more expensive. They want $940 a month for rent (currently I pay $770) with a $350 dollar deposit. That would mean I need $1,290.00 just to move-in. Good part? They cover; electricity, cable and a shared internet access. It is outside my budget, but I am encouraged that I found a property with a ground floor room available and that I would be accepted.

I just wanted to post an update. A little something to let you know I am on the ball, and that I value your support so very much. Again, I am truly flattered by all the support and kindness. I really hope that I am showing how much I genuinely appreciate everything you all are doing. I am deeply scared… in pain… dizzy and loosing weight. However, I know that you are there!

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I must do more searching, as well as writing and posting… getting to the med center tomorrow for my blood tests.

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Please, if you can afford to donate. I beseech you to do. The sooner I meet my goal. The sooner I can rest… before I MOVE.

Thank YOU!

Please Share & Help?!?

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The Future of Mankind

              Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. Today I come to speak with you not about things. Not about oil, or gas. Not about cars or clothes. Not about money or gold. I come to speak on the most important. I come to speak to you about that which endures. That which nurtures. That which binds us all. That which, form which, we all came, and will eventually return.

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Not so long ago, mankind was majorly different. Mankind took only from the earth what he needed for himself and his family to survive. The food he ate? It came from either the fruit of his labors in the earth, or from the sweat of his brow hunting lesser animals. The animals we took life from? We looked it right in the eyes. When we took a living animal? We showed respect for that animal by using all of the animal. Wasting nothing.  When we did take, from the earth that gave us birth, we only took what we needed to survive. We fed ourselves, or family, or tribe. The rest we left alone.

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The clothes on our back came from the skin of the animal we ate. We used the animals bones for tools and weapons. Medicines we made from the intestines and other organs. We used all of what we killed. We celebrated the harvest by sharing the rich bounty our earth gave.

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No one as left out of the bounty, because that would offend the mother earth that gave up her bounty for us to use. We understood the harmony of life. We honored the planet that gave of life by celebrating and sharing.  If we took life? We looked that life right in the eye. Upon taking its life-force we honored the greatness it once had, on this earth. We took time to show reverence to the life the animal once had.

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He honored the animal’s life by using all of the animal. Not to get too gross? He even used the droppings of animals for fertilizer for the food we grew for our families. There was a known as the 'circle of life'. He honored this 'circle of life' in all we did. We held celebrations  to honor what she gave up for us to use. We, the People of the Americas sought harmony in everything we did.

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“Oh, but that was so long ago…” Not really. The earth is over four point five BILLION years old. Of all that time? Mankind has only been around about forty thousand years. Dinosaurs lived,  in harmony with the planet, for over seventy million years. You see, mankind has only been around the blink of an eye.

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Even shorter? Our time in this land. The Americas! Out of five billion years of a planet’s life. Out of the forty thousand years of mankind? Only about five hundred years have European immigrants been here in the Americas. Another blink of the eye. When our European ancestors came to this great land, another people lived here in the Americas. The native Americans had been living here, in harmony with the mother earth, for ten  thousand  years.

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They lived the life I outlined above, living in harmony with the earth. They treated the land, and the animals that lived here, as brothers in the journey of life. Among the America Native Indians there were no; poor, hungry, or disenfranchised. They gave of themselves for the whole. They all rose, or fell, together as a whole!

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I do not know if there is a pathway back to that life. Seems, if this life is wrong? The mother of our existence, Our Mother Earth, just might send us all back to the stone age.  

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We now live in a world where the majority of mankind lives… poorly. A handful of our species lives… surrounded by all the greater comforts of this earth and our modern society. I speak of the 99% and the 1%. However, before you stop reading… think of this. Never before in the history of mankind has this social model prevailed. Be it the Roman Empire or more recently the Empire of the Untied Kingdom. Each and every time wealth is accumulated by the few… the majority left to live off of scraps? That society collapses. Period. End of story. In turn it is replaced with another, more equal society.

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England, for the longest time, was Kings and surfs. Now, everybody in England has; health care, food, and a roof over their head. England leads the civilized world with the lowest rates of: hunger, homelessness, disease, infant mortality and death. In England the lifespan is longer than here in America. Infant mortality rates are lower, and the citizens have overall better health than their cousins across the sea. (FYI that is U.S.)

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Everything happens for a reason. I am now convinced of that fact. Just ten years ago? I made over $50,000.00 a year. Had a brand new truck a sweet loving dog, a two bedroom home in the city of Los Angeles. A terrible disease struck me out of no where. It has now crippled my body worse than I could have ever imagined. In just ten years.

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Everything I owned? I lost. My life was ripped away form me. All because of a disease that still ravages my body, every day. Instead of driving a new truck? I make my way around with a cane dragging my left foot behind me. Instead of a nice two bedroom home in Westwood? I an loosing the single room I have in Cypress. And, right now I stand on a precipice of loosing even that.

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I understand inequality is the nature of the beast. I just really hurts that I keep having to loose what little I do have in this life. I do not want to have to sell my; TV, computers, DVDs and player. However, next week I do loose all those things… just so I can move… again. I worked hard all my life. I did without for my wife and family. Now, simply because my body is failing… I have to loose what little I do have?

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It doesn’t have to be like that… With a little help from everyone? I can keep the few possessions I have… and just do my best to find another place to live that I can afford. I am not asking to be wealthy. I am not asking for my old life back. I am not an idiot… just kind of beat up by life.  

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I know that times are hard all over. I am not asking for those that have little more than me, to give up what they have. Maybe, just maybe… there is someone out there that reads my work… that could make a difference. That is all I am asking. If you are just making each week, hand-to-mouth like me? I am not asking for you to give up cable to help me out. That is not what I want. I apologize if, in the past few weeks, I ever came across like that! I sincerely apologize from the depths of my heart if I made anyone living paycheck to paycheck feel like I wanted something from them.

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IF you can afford? Please… help me not loose what little I have. That is all I ask. Nothing more. Just a little harmony within our lifetimes.

Thank you.

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Please Share & HELP?!?

P.S. Infant mortality rates here:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_infant_mortality_rate

Homelessness rate here: http://www.indexmundi.com/g/r.aspx?v=69

A Week In Reveiw August 17, 2013

            Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. If it is Saturday then it is time for ‘A Week In Review’. It has been another busy week here at The Other Shoe.  Even with loosing a day to go to the hospital for my MRI I managed to publish NINE articles! I am working to provide another preview from my upcoming novel ‘The Adventures of Princess Nadia’!

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The pressures of raising financing and looking for a new place to live have not really be conducive to writing this tale. The characters still live in my heart, and world that they live in occupies my mind. I know that one day, soon, this story will reach the page. It is just too difficult to tell when I am facing such pain.

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I have discovered that the radiological report will not be mine, yet. I have to go all the way back to the hospital, in person, and pay a $10 fee. That means a hole other day lost to travel and that I just cannot afford. I am to discuss it with my doctor, when I see him in October. When I have the information I will be sure to pass it on. However, even better I have the whole scan right here at my fingertips to review anytime.

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I have posted many of the images for everyone to see. One article, listed here, I even have an image from the MRI in 2011 compared to the MRI from this week. I just wanted to keep you, MY Dear Readers, informed. I know that you care and want to be kept informed. J

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And now, without further Adieu I bring you this week’s ‘A Week In Review’!

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• ·         Life IS Hell: “Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe.I was awakened at 7 AM this morning to the thundering sound of a steel dumpster being dragged through the parking lot. By 8 AM there were workers slamming, banging, and breaking up sheet rock, plywood, toilets and countertops in the steel dumpster. Nowhere around either the dumpster or the work area could there be seen permits.” It comes as no small surprise that my life is hell. Especially now, with the move hanging over my head. This was the morning before I had to go all the way across town for my MRI, and I wasn’t allowed to rest because of the caustic owners/workers that now own the place I live. Unfortunately for me, things have not improved. My pain is getting worse with every day and my neck is a disaster area with no help on the way. Every day I look for a place to live, only to realize that I cannot afford to live anywhere decent to live. Life IS hell.


• ·         My Date With An MRI Tube...Today! :“Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. Today is Tuesday August 13^th, 2013 and my fate for today is to lie in a tube. That’s right today is my MRI at St. Joseph’s hospital here in Orange County. As anyone from my childhood can tell you, Danny is a little (more like a lot) claustrophobic so today promises to be an adventure in fear as well as the daily adventure I experience in pain.” The adventure was better than I had imagined it would, but that comes with a huge exception… I spent the day in severe pain. They did not put in in the same machine as last year. This is causing some confusion about the results that are seen. It was a very long and painful day. One that I do not look forward to repeating anytime soon.


• ·          MRI Results From August 13th, 2013 And Some Very Bad News…: “Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. I have been home now for about a half an hour. Already I have looked at the images from the MRI I just endured. (More on why I said “endured” in a moment) First, a word of THANKS! To my father Kenneth Hanning. Dad taught me how to read X-Rays and all kinds of scans when I was… … eight or nine. While Darrell played ball, other children had fun in the sun? Danny was working at the Herman Medical Building for my father’s bosses.”I was very much unpleasantly surprised at what I saw when I looked at the images on the disc. Immeditaely I put the images from two years ago side-by-side with images from this Tuesday. It takes a detail oriented mind and more than a passing glance. However, one can see the deterioration in my cervical spine. IMHO the disc at C7-T1 has ruptured. It has lost it’s integrity and the edges are jagged. As well, that disc is showing up as hollow, like devoid of dural fluid. I have to discuss this with my doctor when I see him. I am just so depressed by these results… and I am looking for a place to live… I can afford.


• ·         The UNFORTUNATE Truth About Danny Hanning: “Dear Family, and Facebook & The Other Shoe Followers, First, THANK YOU for bringing my campaign to ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS! That makes me 1/5th to my total GOAL! I am extremely happy with this progress. Second, my blog at Blog.Com may well be GONE! I have not ‘seen’ my blog for almost a whole WEEK! I do not know what is going on. Third, My left hand is mostly useless. = I’ve had to slow my writing LOT”.  I mean, nor meant, no disrespect to anyone by writing this piece. I am just walking on the edge of a razor blade… dancing on one leg, more like. The pressure gets to Danny… It’s hard dealing with failing health and getting kicked out of your home for the past decade… in just one week. I am not sure that I have made any progress, personally, I am still majorly stressed. However, I cannot back away from writing.. least I loose any chance of garnering any further support. There is the, afore mentioned, razor blade.


• ·         Improved MRI Images and a Plea For Help!: “Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe! I am just tickled pink that I have my primary location back! Today I spent my time bringing the primary blog up to date. Then I worked tweaking five of the images from the MRI so that everyone can ‘see’ what is wrong. I am expecting the radiologists’ report by Friday. When I get the report I will post the results here, too.” In this article I do my level best to outline the advance of the degenerative disc disease. I show four different images from this week’s MRI that I felt showed, clearly, how the progression of my disease. You can clearly see that the discs at C1-C3 no longer are just “desiccated” but are protruding into the spinal canal. One shows what I am sure is the rupture of the disc at C7-T1. Why I keep stressing this fact is that my symptoms are radically worse. I experience; nausea, dizziness, trouble breathing in any position. It is not going to be a pleasant visit with my doctor next time. However, it is a picnic compared to what I live through every single day. My depression is growing… just writing about this…


• ·         Daniel’s Feelings About The MRI Results: “Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. Well, today has been a very busy day. I just finished publishing the article with all the improved images from my MRI scan. Now I’m going to take a moment to talk to you about my feelings.” This was an extremely difficult article for me to write. I do no, often, write so bloodily about the feelings that I have… It is not in my nature… it is not in my making. However, I do live in fear for my life. That’s right I did not write health I wrote life. See, I have this problem where I stop breathing all together. This used to just happen when I was sleeping. Now it is happening even when I am awake .I feel this shuddering in my body…  I have to think in order to breath. I know what I is happening to me, and I am afraid. I wanted to get it down in writing. In case the worst comes to pass. So sorry that you, My Dear Readers, had to see this so early on.


• ·         Dear TEXANS! : “Dear Family and Facebook & The Other Shoe. Followers, I have just been told that I “have offended Texans…” and that I cannot expect support because of my transgressions. I accept my responsibility! I would, very much, like to make amends. THAT was NEVER my INTENT! N E V E R!!!! I AM A PROUD TEXAN!” I never meant to offend. I genuinely mean that from the depths of my heart. I would never write an article just to bash. That is not my style… it is not who I am. Regardless, I am sorry. Genuinely sorry for the hurt I have caused. If I end up homeless… then that is the price that I will pay. At least I have made my peace. I hope that all those that Are/were offended have read my words, too. I want to put his behind me. Move on and look ahead. I hope that is possible. I pray that it is.


• ·         On Little Cat Feet: “Welcome back,. My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe I have been laid up with tremendous pain. What the pain hasn’t taken from me, the depression does. I have but one purpose, one goal. Write. Write to ensure continued life. My words are my bond with this life, with you My Dear Readers. The rest?” If you, My Dear Readers, I think you should.


• ·         A Cry In The Dark: “It is 1:20AM and I am unable to sleep. I tried writing for The Other Shoe, but only darkness and depression came out. There is eight days left for me to raise enough money to; hire people to help me move, rent a moving truck (without car insurance as I do not own a car), and pay for rent & deposit on a new place.”I wrote this just thirteen hours ago. The feeling is still fresh in my mind. I still haven’t slept. I need to do that… soon. I apologize (seems I am doing that a lot this week) for sharing my depression. If nothing else? I am an honest writer, indeed.

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That brings us to the end of this article, and the end of the week. I regret to inform you, this week there will be no ‘Sunday Funnies’. I just do not have it in me. I look forward to seeing you on Monday. Have a great weekend.

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As Always, it is a great honor that you come here and read my words. I hope that you find enjoyment… I take solice that someone does.

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 Thank YOU!

Please Share & Help?!?

 

 

 

A Cry In The Dark

                     It is 1:20AM and I am unable to sleep. I tried writing for The Other Shoe, but only darkness and depression came out. There is eight days left for me to raise enough money to; hire people to help me move, rent a moving truck (without car insurance as I do not own a car), and pay for rent & deposit on a new place.

I am looking on; For Rent, Criag’s List, and bulletin boards in churches and laundry rooms for a place I can afford. I work every moment my pain allows me to think and move. I still need to find boxes, too. I have written and posted an apology from the heart to everyone in Texas I have offended. That goes for everyone in every state that I may have offended, too. I simply cannot rest, even when I try to sleep.

I have talked about my condition. I have posted the most recent MRI images of the damaged area of my spine. I have made, short, phone calls to Housing and a couple of places that help people with spinal cord injuries. I am desperate to make some progress, yet it is like I am spinning my tires in mud. My heart is broken, my body too. I have never been so depressed. Yet I am trying hard to not let it show. Nothing feels right. Nothing makes me smile or happy. I am not angry, just terribly anxious and even afraid.

I cannot focus enough to read for enjoyment. I have no idea where to turn. I keep looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see none. Tomorrow is another day, and that just means one less to garner support and one more closer to being without a home.

If there is anything I can do or say that will convince you my need is genuine, my disability severe. Would you tell me? I feel myself falling. Yet I do not know if I will land. If there is anything I could ask for. It is the kindness of others, the support of those I have called friends.

I have never meant to hurt or offend anyone. Yet, it seems I am paying the price for doing just that very thing. I am afraid of falling (not of the heights). I know not where to turn. I pray for sleep. Yet hesitate because of the nightmares that inevitably come. My stress and fears follow me, even in sleep.

I would not wish this on anyone. Not even the worst of enemies (of which I do not think I have ever… had). If you are reading this, and sleep alludes you, too. Please take a moment and follow this link. Look, read… forgive… then give?

From the very bottom of my heart the very depths of my soul I beseech you.

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Previously posted @ The Other Shoe at Blog.com www.theothershoe.blog.com]

Dear TEXANS!

Dear Family and Facebook & The Other Shoe. Followers,

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I have just been told that I  "have offended Texans..." and that I cannot expect support because of my transgressions. I accept my responsibility! I would, very much, like to make amends.

THAT was NEVER my INTENT! N E V E R!!!! I AM A PROUD TEXAN!

However, IF I have EVER written something YOU feel was 'derogatory to Texas'? . I do hereby SINCERELY APOLOGIZE! I am very sorry that any of my writing or posts have been hurtful to Texas or Texans!

 

I LOVE TEXAS! I LOVE TEXANS! I AM A PROUD TEXAN! . I have done my level best to PUT AISDE 'politics' for the rest of my SHORT life.

 

I am facing paralysis or possible death due to the advancement of my disease. People with my condition DO NOT LIVE LONG! . I have COME TO GRIPS with my death. I just want TO MOVE SAFELY and WRITE 'The Adventures of Princess Nadia'. A sci-fi fantasy for Middle School aged CHILDREN!

. I do NOT  want to engage in anymore 'politics'.

. AGAIN. My Fellow Texans family and friends.  If EVER I have offended ANY Texan?

 

YOU have my deepest HEARTFELT APOLOGY!!!

. . Please I AM SORRY IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANY TEXANS! I LOVE YOU GUYS! . I am beside myself in grief... I cannot write anymore... Please accept my apology. PLEASE?

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On Little Cat Feet...

            Welcome back,. My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. I have been laid up with tremendous pain. What the pain hasn’t taken from me, the depression does. I have but one purpose, one goal. Write. Write to ensure continued life. My words are my bond with this life, with you My Dear Readers. The rest? Just bulbs on a Christmas tree.

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Here are two videos. Watch them slowly. Watch them twice. As you watch realize you are watching life leave me. I know this now. For the past two days I have been scared to death. After having looked at what you are just seeing now. My spine is my enemy. Well, that any my lack of wealth. If I had the money, I could buy more life. Right now? What am I fighting for? Nothing less than the remainder of my LIFE!

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God, the pain… it racks my body, my mind, my soul every single day. I refuse to stop fighting. Fighting not just for me… don’t you  see?  Am fighting for all of US. Deep inside… you know what I say is true. The battle I am fighting. I have fought… and lost, before. Not this time, My Dear Readers.

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This time I/We WIN!

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I am not asking for money for fun! I am not begging for anything less than my very life. Look at the videos. Tell me. What do you see? I see nothing less than death. Creeping up on me.

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                                                          “The fog it comes. On little cat feet”

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I refuse to let it take me, My Dear Readers. I have some much left to share. Living within me… a whole world. Will you stand idly by and let that world, before it’s birth, die?

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I WANT TO LIVE!

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What will you do?

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I have done everything I can. I know my fate. Do you? My fate is to write. To create a world… mercy… what a beautiful world I have inside. However, I cannot create it all in the 45 days I have left till I am evicted. I need more time.

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That is what you are buying, with your contributions. Time. Nothing less. This disease will take my life, in time. It can happen in just a few weeks… as I work to move by myself.

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Or? It can happen years from now when I have created and shared the world I speak of years from now.

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Who gets to choose?

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You

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As always, it is a great honor for me that you come here to read my words. J

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Please Share… and… help?

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Daniel's Feelings About The MRI

            Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe.Well, today has been a very busy day. I just finished publishing the article with all the improved images from my MRI scan. Now I’m going to take a moment to talk to you about my feelings.

 

Feelings, in general, are not something men from Texas get much training… in. About how to discuss... feelings. I think my many years experience as an actor has given me a better handle on discussing feelings than other male Texans. First and foremost I am gravely concerned by what I saw in the MRI images. I’d be a fool to not have expected my disease to progress over the past two years. So, when I bought the DVD home with the images on it I was fully prepared to see one thing. That one thing was, I expected to see the disc at C7/T1 pressing further into the spinal canal.

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Neural compression on the spinal cord would fit well with the symptoms I am experiencing. I had expected to see further desiccation to the discs at C1, C2, and C3. I was shocked to see those discs not merely desiccated but now also extending beyond the vertebrae and mushrooming into the spinal canal. Quite honestly, My Dear Readers, I had not anticipated the mushrooming I saw all through my cervical spine.

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I had not anticipated seeing the disc between C7/T1 ruptured. I am not sure that you can see it clearly in the images that I have posted. But I’ve looked the DVD on my best monitor and the disc between C7/T1? Is not just desiccated, it is fully ruptured. That explains the loud pop I heard a couple weeks ago... or longer. The days of pain seem to fade into one another. It is been since the beginning of the campaign, most likely the week I wrote and published 12 articles in seven days. I was working, it was late in the evening, and I had been writing for I don’t know how long and I relaxed. I leaned back on my pillows and I heard it… A very loud and wet pop.

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There was a lot of pain shortly after this very loud and wet pop. But it may have happened earlier. This goes really far to explain the low-grade fevers. You see the fluid in the dural sac is not the same as the cerebral spinal fluid that is in our spinal canal. Mixing the fluid from the dural sac and that of the cerebral spinal fluid can cause infection. Looking at the MRI images explains up a lot of what’s been going with me physically. It explains the increased pain. It explains the fevers and the reduced feeling in my left hand. It explains the shooting pains I now get in my face and teeth.

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Whatever I did? I did not, expect this. I was just not even prepared from what I see in these images. First, the medical. Doctor Gorilck was correct in diagnosing “Severe Spinal Stenosis”. For that is exactly what I now have, severe spinal stenosis. The blockage of the spinal canal, and the flow of the cerebral spinal fluid. He nailed it with just my explanation of new symptoms. Kudos for Doctor Gorlick. He really is the great physician I knew he was/is, he proved me right about him, again.

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There is no real treatment for my condition, in its current state. No medications. No surgery. No miracles… nothing nada. I have only to measure the days of the final advancement of the disease and regression of my physical abilities. All that is left is the decline. Over time I will loose more and more abilities. Movement. Coordination. Sight and taste. Finally, breathing.

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That leads to me emotionally and mentally. Great NEWS!  Mentally I will never decline due to this disease state. To my last breath I will be fully aware of my pain, my loss of movement, my incontinence. I will be sharp and aware for all that great fun. Super, huh? So long as I can speak… I can write. Oh, My Dear Readers, I will continue to write… so fear not about that. I won’t leave you without my tales. I will start, just as soon as I am moved, with writing and finishing ‘The Adventures of Princess Nadia’. Once done, I will start with Book Two, then Book Three, then Book Four and finally ‘Book Five-Final’.

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I will not leave this earth without completing as much of her story as I can. I may never keep my promises to myself, but I refuse to renege on my promise to Princess Nadia .I always keep the promises I make to the ones I love.

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On the other hand, my mental state will/does fully suck. First and foremost I will put in print and I mean it with all my heart and soul “I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!” Death will have to take me kicking and screaming. I do not care if I am incontinent. I do not care if I cannot walk or use my hands to feed myself or write. Let me repeat it for you “I WANT TO LIVE!”   

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If I wanted to die… I would just stop asking for financial assistance. Force myself to move all by myself. That would kill me. Nope, I am going to bother you all for assistance any way you can help. I have no problem begging. I am going to have to wear a diaper soon enough, you think I am bothered with the shame of asking for financial assistance? LOL

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I am severely something else. I am severely depressed. Right now, as I am writing, I am frowning… big. I am used to being depressed. They have medications for that. I know it is showing through, right now, in this work. I do not need anyone to tell me, I can see it clearly with every word I write. What do you expect? I just looked at MRI images that are far worse than anyone expected. In just two years we see massive progression of disease. This looks like, more like, five or six years of disease progression… not two. So be it.

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Nothing I can do. At least nothing I can afford. Not on Medicare and Social Security. Nope. Not happening. I mean, I am poised to be homeless and I cannot raise enough funds to keep me off the street. I am not stupid enough to think people will help with a surgery that would cost ten to twenty times more! I just want to move… safely… to somewhere not in the ghetto. If  I had the money? I would move out of California!

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Somewhere with seasons! Maybe even four seasons! I cannot do that with the money I have raised to date. Honestly, I need twice what I have just to move myself out of this place and safely to a new home only miles from where I live today. I will do everything I can to get the money I need.

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Next week? It will come to selling the only possessions I have. My computer. My TV. My DVD player. My Xbox. I had hoped that it would not come to that, but I refuse to go down without a fight! I do not know how to garner more support. How to ingratiate myself further and get the funds I need to hire people instead of exposing myself to much greater risks of injury. That is what it boils down to, My Dear Readers. The more money I can get from donations? The lesser the risk to my health. They are equal. If I can pay for other people to move, that removes one risk to my health. If I can pay people to pack and carry items to the van or truck? That removes another risk to my health. If I had enough financial support to pay for; the room or apartment (rent and deposit), people to pack, people to load the truck, people to drive, and people to unload and unpack?

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That would eliminate any chance of me hurting myself. I wish that were the case. I would need three times what I have so far raised for that to be my reality. There are TEN DAYS LEFT to raise those funds. I will write. I will post. I will ask again and again and again for your financial support. I do not know what else I can do.

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If I must sell what I own… the few items of convenience and joy I have? This I will do. I pray it will not come to that, My Dear Readers. Hence, me asking… begging for your continued support. Asking that you share my campaign with; friends, family, church, coworkers, anyone that might listen for even a moment. I do not want to sell this computer. With which… I do not know HOW I will write the stories I have to tell.

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I am in too much pain to continue. My depression wraps around me like large arms trying to squeeze the life out of me. I simply must go.

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As always, I am honored that you come here and read my words. I will… improve. I will write happier works, again. This… MRI… has kicked my feet from out from under me. I apologize for the darkness… but I do not relish the thought of selling all the things I have scrimp and saved for, for years… just to move… and not get hurt in the process.

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Please… consider assisting me… keeping me safe? Thank you!

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Please Share & Help?!?!?

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