Danny Of The Other Shoe - May 6th, 2014[/caption].
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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. Now, before I get started on today’s edition of ‘Notes from Behind the Keyboard’ I wanted to take a moment to express my ‘Thanks!’ to people, without whom, my journey yesterday would not have been possible. I would like to say “Thank you!” to: All the drivers and support people at Orange County Para-Transit Access, Los Angeles County Para-Transit Access, the good people at OCTA and MTA, all of the nurses and support people at Palos Verdes Medical Group, my Primary Physician Dr. L. Gorlick, the phlebotomist and technicians from Memorial Medical Services at PVMD, and my caregiver and significant other of 27 years Glen Allen. Yesterday was my quarterly follow-up visit to my primary care giver, and good friend Dr. Laurence Gorlick.
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Without the help and support of all the people, named above, I would not have been able to make the twelve hour and 89 mile journey. Now, I just know what most of you are thinking, and with good reason. ‘Danny, WHY, in the world are you traveling that far just to see a doctor?” Simple, from 2005 to 2013 Dr. Gorlick’s office was located just six blocks from my home in Cypress, CA. However, late last year he left his practice in Los Alamitos (of 23 years) and returned to his practice in Rolling Hills Estates.
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[caption id="attachment_2874" align="aligncenter" width="630"]
Promenade on the Peninsula[/caption].
Dr. Gorlick has seen me through, two surgeries, a minor stroke, innumerable minor illnesses, my allergies, and had help to manage my pain so that I am able to function and even write without fail nor falter. Next, have any of you tried to find a new doctor… in the past decade? Most, are flakes if not quacks, and all too many could really care less about getting to know their patients, much less being involved in their pain management. Even the nice Infectious Disease doctor I saw, wanted to farm me off to a ‘Pain Control Specialist’. Horsefeathers!
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Most of those specialists are of the mind that ‘nobody really needs pain medications’ everything can be solved with ‘physical therapy’ and ‘exercise’. ROFLMFAO Then they have never experienced pain secondary to nerve root damage and spinal cord stenosis. For four years six of my nerve roots were ground between two rock hard discs of my cervical spine, ground like between a mortar and pestle. I have had no less than four neurosurgeons calmly explain to me that “Mr. Hanning, you will be in severe pain for the rest of your life… most likely ended by a small fall resulting in your own spine severing your spinal cord.” Allen often wonders why is it that he will, sometimes, just see me crying. For no apparent reason… I break out in tears and start to cry. Let’s have a doctor tell you that (^) and see if you don’t find yourself crying for no apparent reason. I have my reasons.
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So, yesterday I made my way into Los Angeles, and then back home, via Disneyland. Ironic, that on my way to my doctor’s office, I pass through ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’. None-the-less, I had a very good appointment. I explained the progress I have made on the newly discovered lump on my jawbone. The consultation with the oncologist, and the urgency of having said lump removed and a biopsy done. Dr. Gorlick had some blood drawn, wrote out prescriptions for more pain medications, listen to my lungs… he always listens to my lungs, then we talked briefly about his family and back on the road, again, back home.
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Once I got home, well, my travels were not over. I got in the door and immediately took out Alexander R Hanning. He does not like being left alone at home for that many hours. I was rolled up in a fury little ball in the corner of his cage, with his fur on end. Yeap, that is one pissed off rat! So, I took Alex out of his cage and held him close to my face, kissing his little ears and face. Within about thrity seconds he was grinding to beat the band and licking my face.
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Yes, fancy rats are a lot like small dogs. Anyway, now that I had Alex all squared away, I got myself something to drink. About this time I see it is 5PM… I am in so much pain I am nearly blind… It is almost time to take my 6PM pain medication. I open the travel container I keep my pain medications in only to realize that in my haste I had totally forgot to take my noon Pain medication. Well, now that would go very far to explain the terrific pain that I am feeling and why it feels like my spine is drilling right through my neck muscles.
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I take my 6PM pain medication and put the missed dose back into the jar. No way am I doubling up on Percodan… I like to BREATHE! So, now I have taken my pain meds, soothed a pissed off rat, and washed up a little. Now, it is time to get back into my power chair and make the journey four blocks to the pharmacy to drop off prescriptions, and pick up four prescriptions. It is about 8PM when I leave the house for the pharmacy, it was 12 hours before that I got on my first para-transit to get to L.A.. Twelve hours, and still miles to go before I sleep.
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My Dear Readers, I write and publish this work not to complain. Rather, I write this article and share it with you to show just how hard I do push myself, all the time. Yes, I am disabled. Yes, I have little feeling or use of my left hand. Yes, I am in real and substantial pain from the moment I wake every day to the moment I fall asleep every night. However, NEVER will I allow my pain or disability to prevent me from getting what I can… done. I do not look, nor ask, for pity. NEVER!
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Sometimes, I will ask for… help… support… a hand in making ends meet… or to put food on my table… or pay off a nagging debt. However, before I ever would think of doing that I will try every imaginable way possible to deal with it alone… by myself… first. It is pride… a devotion to a belief that I must do for myself, the best that I can, and never ask for help of any kind. Oh, I will gladly take your accolades, your applause, your “Likes’ and ‘Shares’ and won’t miss a beat. I believe in myself. Ask Allen, I have a pretty high opinion… of myself. I enjoy my own writing, and know that (in time) I can do better and better, still.
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I am quite fortunate to have been raised in a way that I; ‘Have the courage of my convictions, and the convictions of my beliefs’. Case in point; I am about to start writing Part Eight of ‘The Horror in Smithville’. How I have not revisited this piece for more than a week. Have not written, have not published a single word or phrase. However, I know that when I sit down at this keyboard (or microphone) that the world will appear before my eyes. That the characters will all come into my mind and play out their roles.
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I know that the story will continue…. Because? Because, My Dear Readers, the story lives on inside me. I am not writing of some foreign world. I am not putting words into the mouths of strangers. Timmy and Archer they live within me. I can see through their eyes, I can feel their fear, enjoy their happiness, know their aspirations, and revel in the success. Believe it or not… understand it or not… this is the way I write. I write from the inside, out. When they shed a tear, I cry. When they face their fears, I know their pride.
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Be it genetics, antics as a youth, a typewriter that dropped on my head nearly thirty years ago…. MY body will never be as it was… I will never… again in my life, run. I may never be able to climb a tree… ride a horse… and never touch the stars. However, My Dear Readers, do not shed a single tear for me. For I live through my characters… I live through my work. When I am ready, I will venture to the stars… and I will do it through my writing, via my characters… and I will know their joy.
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I could fall in my bathtub tomorrow… slip and fall… cause my discs to sever my spinal cord…. I refuse to live in fear. Until… my time comes, I will write. I will share, and my characters… they will share with me. Share with me those things I cannot do… and I will smile.
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Thank you, My Dear Readers, for coming here… once again, and reading what I have to share. Your readership means the world to me. I solemnly promise to you. As long as you keep coming here to read? I will always do my best to give you some to read. Be sure to drop by later tomorrow… as I rejoin Timmy and Archer in ‘The Horror in Smithville!
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ENJOY! &
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Adieu!
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http://www.ebay.com/usr/enzomatrixlt
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[caption id="attachment_2870" align="aligncenter" width="630"]
Danny Hanning Of The Other Shoe - May 6th, 2014[/caption]
[…] Notes from Behind the Keyboard – May 7th, 2014 : “Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. Now, before I get started on today’s edition of ‘Notes from Behind the Keyboard’ I wanted to take a moment to express my ‘Thanks!’ to people, without whom, my journey yesterday would not have been possible. I would like to say “Thank you!” to: All the drivers and support people at Orange County Para-Transit Access, Los Angeles County Para-Transit Access, the good people at OCTA and MTA, all of the nurses and support people at Palos Verdes Medical Group, my Primary Physician Dr. L. Gorlick, the phlebotomist and technicians from Memorial Medical Services at PVMD, and my caregiver and significant other of 27 years Glen Allen. Yesterday was my quarterly follow-up visit to my primary care giver, and good friend Dr. Laurence Gorlick.” Always wanting, and working, to keep you, My Dear Readers, in the loop… here are some photos taken while I was on my journey, and a flayer from the mall where my doctor’s office… is. It was quite a difficult journey, but time well spent. Take a moment and read about my journey, and see the photos and the flyer. […]
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