400th Article Here at The Other Shoe!

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[caption id="attachment_2203" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel Hanning of The Other Shoe[/caption]

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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. Today March 19^th, 2014 I am happy to announce that this article is my 400^th article here @ The Other Shoe (@ Blog.com). Now, I have reached the 400 mark for my primary blog (location) @ blog.com. I will be posting this article at both my blog locations. This article will mark my 302^rd article at Word Press. Once I reach 350 at the secondary location (at Word Press) I will be marking, and celebrating, that publishing milestone, too. My Dear Readers, I have been pretty darn sick for the past six weeks.

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I feel better for a week, or so, then my fever skyrockets again and I feel poorly. This cycle has plagued me now for the past six to eight weeks. This week I have to take time out to help Allen with a legal matter. I will be gone all day Friday, and there is a great deal of preparation that I have to undertake throughout this week, starting later today. Monday I foresaw these upcoming anniversaries, yet my health kept me bedridden. Today, I awoke to no fever and a strong desire to write and publish. Though I have not published them all, today, since I woke up at 5AM I have written and finished three articles.

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So involved in these anniversaries I have been completely remiss in reporting the actual FIRST DEATH in the conflict in the Ukraine. On Sunday, for the very first time since 1945, one European country has annexed land in another country. Crimea has been annexed into Russia. This is a violation of United Nations sanctions, at least ONE NATO treaty and brought about the ire of the new leadership of the Ukraine. President Obama has spoken out against the move by Russia, and vowed further action by the United States and the United Nations for the Ukraine.

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So busy, I have been, working to prepare as much content for these anniversaries, that this development has taken a backseat to my celebration. If I manage to carve out enough time, later this week, I really hope to write further about this grave development and harmful action to the peace of the European Union. Now, back to the advent of THIS my 400^th Article @ The Other Shoe!

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I welcome this milestone in my publishing/writing career at this time. I have just taken a dive into the horror genre, here at The Other Shoe, with the publication of ‘The Horror in Smithville’. My Dear Readers, you are most likely unawares that I am writing this horror story ‘on-the-fly’. Yes, I have written the essential sentence. From this sentence I build out, like a flower. I have my plot sentence, names of characters, list of locations, plot points, and all of the essential bones and organs. However, unlike anything I have ever written, or published at either The Other Shoe? This horror story is read by you, My Dear Readers, as I write it. You are seeing this story the same day that I am writing.

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This is a major experiment for a writer’s point of view, and… so far? It is a resounding success! I have received over FIFTY ‘Likes’ for Part One, and a growing number for Part Two. My Dear Readers, you are registering your delight with this new experiment and my first venture into the horror genre. Thank YOU!
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When I write, I write from the heart. I read a substantial amount of resource material prior to even naming an article. I do my level best to find out both sides of the issue I plan on writing. If you look at the bottom of any of the political works I publish? You will see a listing of all the resource articles and materials I have used to bring my opinion to fruition.

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I do my best to use materials from, what other people may consider, both ‘Liberal’ and ‘Conservative’ sources. That we do not always agree? Is a good sign of a healthy dialogue. How boring would it be, to only keep company with people that say the same thing as I do. That we ‘see’ every news worthy event the ‘same’? To go through life in complete conformity and in lock-step unison would be to deprive myself and you, My Dear Readers, of the spice in life.

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Now on with this wonderful celebration of FOUR hundred articles published right here at The Other Shoe. My very first article was quite simple in its title and its content. Here is the very first article published by me here at The Other Shoe.

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• Welcome to The Other Shoe : “My name is      Daniel and today is the first day of this blog. Over the coming; days,      weeks, months (and hopefully) years I hope to share my view on current      political and social events and news. I will be the first to admit that I      a dyed-in-the-wool ‘Liberal’ American. I started voting in Pearland Texas      in 1975 by pulling the straight Democratic ticket lever in the mechanical      voting machines that were used in South East Texas at the time. I am not      adamantly against Republicans or (reasonable) Conservative ideals, I just      think that they generally work for the few, not the many.” You      see? From the very beginning I have been; honest, forthright, and genuine      in everything I write and publish. I did not lie about how I voted      in my first election. Nor did I try to confuse My Dear Readers by      capitalizing off of my eventual political growth into a ‘Reagan-Democrat’.      I kept, and keep, my work as simple and as genuinely honest as I can. This      is how it all began, back in March 22^nd, 2010. now we      are nearly four years later, and 350 articles since this very first one.     

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Next, My Dear Readers, is my seventh article. In this article I prove that I am not some lackey for the Democrat party and also show that not everything the Republican Party tells its base, is true. This article is a prime example of the integrity and honesty in writing that I work everyday to achieve.

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• The Truth about the      ‘Individual Mandate’ : “Having said, I must be honest, I never agreed      with the Individual Mandate. Even when it was first proposed in 1993. For      those of you that were not paying attention in 1993, or just tuned into      politics since the last election,we can thank Senator Orin Hatch and      Senator Chuck Grassley for the first introduction of the ‘Individual      Mandate’ that has ruffled so many feathers with the Republican party, and      Tea Partiers. That’s right, two Republican Senators first introduced the      wonderful Individual Mandate in 1993 and hear you have been told that this      is some ‘Left Wing Conspiracy’ to ‘take over’ health care and destroy individual      rights.” See, right there I am enlightening and explaining to my      Republican readers that they are being mislead. Mislead by the ‘Talking      Heads’ into believing that the ‘Individual Mandate’ is a Democrat idea,      when the FACTS bear out that it was (originally in 1993) created by the      Heritage Society and offered up by TWO Republican Senators and the      Republican Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich! I was working to dispel      falsehoods, and if you read further… I do even MORE. I tell you, My      Dear Readers, that I do not agree with Democrats in including the      ‘Individual Mandate’ and that I ”hope they throw it out”. It was only my      seventh article and already I was setting a tone of honesty and      honor in publication that is (today) rarely seen.

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I am very proud of those original articles. Early on I was setting a tone and raising the bar of journalistic integrity. I refused to merely kowtow to Democrats and lambaste Republicans. I had a deep desire to treat, My Dear Readers, with honesty and integrity from the onset. I knew then, as I know now, that I could have a larger readership… and even make money, if I would just go for the extreme of one side of the political debate or the other. I could plainly see how quickly Fox News was growing and just how much MORE Rush was making each and every time he renegotiated his contract.

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My Dear Readers this brings us to the end of Part One of my 400^th article here at The Other Shoe. Now, for a moment of embarrassing honesty by your truly. As I explained I ‘saw’ this culmination of 400 articles and FOUR YEARS coming as far back as February. I has so wanted to… offer… something for you, My Dear Readers, to mark this pivotal anniversary. I had contacted a printer, regarding printing; bumper stickers, pens, note pads, or T-Shirts with a logo and noting the Four Year 400 Article milestone for myself and this wonderful blog.

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My Dear Readers, I would like to extend my deep and heartfelt apology! I sincerely apologize that I was completely unable to scrape together enough funds for the purchase of any of these items for me to share with you, My Dear Readers. I have produced a logo, picked out font and wording and even a rudimentary design for a T-Shirt, bumper sticker, or pen for use as a celebratory gift for this anniversary. I deeply felt that I wanted to share, with at least a handful of you, My Dear Readers. I know that I have regulars. A very few of you I know who you are. A couple of you… have even reached out and helped put food on my table! I wanted to return your kindness and mark/share this anniversary with you. I apologize that I was unable to make this happen. Once rent was paid, and my cell phone bill… I only had enough money for one week’s food.

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So, I wanted to offer some neat little nick-nack to mail to a few of you… to mark this Four year, 400 article milestone here at The Other Shoe. Please accept my apology. I hope that you understand… and that the knowledge that I genuinely wanted to share in this anniversary and mark (that was the whole idea behind the pen idea… to ‘mark’ the occasion… hehehe) this shared anniversary.

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I look forward to the continuation of this series, and I look forward to you input and support.

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As always I am deeply honored that you come here and read my work.

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Thank YOU!

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[caption id="attachment_2296" align="aligncenter" width="630"] The Other Shoe's Daniel Hanning 2/2014[/caption]

March 10th Personal/Medical Update and Blog Status

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[caption id="attachment_2203" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel Hanning of The Other Shoe[/caption]

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            Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. This morning I awoke to the sound of my own coughing. This time it is much deeper, and the raspy quality is replaced with a rattling sound. Deep in my chest something is rattling like dried bones in a bag, and I am… well, kind of scared. For a moment, let me look on the bright side of things. Last week, for the very first time since my first bout with this respiratory infection, I managed to publish ten articles in seven days. My Dear Readers I want you to know, to completely understand, what you and your readership here at The Other Shoe  means to me.

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My Dear Readers just prior to the first onset of my respiratory infection? The traffic at just the primary location of my blog was peaking at about 150 visitors per week. That is an average of twenty visitors per day, but some days (of course) saw more traffic. I understand… I accept the reality of blogging. I understand the fickle nature of traffic and the genuine need of people for new content. Whereas I do not mean to judge, really I am the same way. I am a ‘news junkie’ and I read three to four different source for news every single day. Not six months ago I would watch MSNBC non-stop from 7AM until 7PM six days a week.

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I have broken my news addiction, and with it my (rather mellow) political partisanship. My Dear Readers until my doctors find out just exactly what is wrong with me. Why I cannot throw this respiratory infection, why I have low-grade fevers nightly or the chronic fatigue I experience. Until that time my ability to regularly provide the requisite level of content is greatly hampered. I met, and exceeded, my goal for content this past week. Yet, in the process I have caused my infection to return and started the cycle of illness yet again.

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First, My Dear Readers I cannot put into words the excitement I felt writing Part One of ‘The Horror in Smithville’!  I just love a well-written and suspenseful horror story. Let me be crystal clear, I do not include works like the ‘Twilight’ series. From what I read, of these books, they were a mix between sugary sweet horror and soft-core teenage porn. My very first exposure to the genre, horror, was one common and familiar to my generation. ‘The Twilight Zone’, ‘The Outer Limits’ and (later) ‘Night Gallery’ were my introduction to the genre(s) of horror and suspense and science fiction. Written by; Rod Serling, Ray Bradbury, Gene Roddenberry, and even Isaac Asimov these works were literary gold and my first and most impressionable impressions of these genres. That and… a little known (and I have looked and could not find these books) series of books by Playboy. They were sold together and each book was devoted to one genre. I found them at a garage sale, when I was about 8. You cannot imagine the fast-talking, wheeling, and dealing I had to engage in order to get my mother’s permission to purchase the boxed set.

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After these golden nuggets of horror and science fiction, both genres floundered for many years. George Lucas rejuvenated science fiction with ‘Star Wars’, while the horror genre was brought back to life by Stephen King’s brilliant abilities. Stephen King defined the horror genre for decades to come, and (believe it or not) caused me great hesitation writing and publishing in his genre. Last week I put my fears aside, embraced my nightmares and put pen to paper for my very first venture into the horror genre. I tread gently, into Mr. King’s territory, and have made the conscious decision to write for young adults, first.

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Come to think of it, ‘The Horror in Smithville’ and ‘The Adventures of Princess Nadia’ are both written for the young adult – pre-teen audience. I do this, intentionally, for two reasons. The first of which is the most important. I do not feel as though there is enough well written and thoughtful science fiction and horror for young adults and pre-teens. I see a real need for more quality writing in both of these genres. Second, My Dear Readers I will be the very first to admit I need more experience… more education under my belt before I wade into the same waters occupied by greats like Stephen King.

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I would like to think that someday I might be able to create imagery, bring to life endearing characters, share memorable settings, and spin tales that weave all these elements together into a work of art. I know my ultimate goal, I can feel my limitations and I see the path clearly in front of me. Then there is my physical condition, my degenerative disease state and the unknown disease/condition that plagues me, today. All too familiar, am I , with how quickly I burn through my stamina. That is just what happened last week, rather over the weekend and today as a direct result of my workload last week.

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My Dear Readers I longed to present you all with a full week of content. My desire to reestablish the traffic I had worked my fingers to the bone to achieve. You see, I do not fear the work… the workload. Honestly, I do not fear the pain that comes as a direct result of working (sitting behind a keyboard every day for hours at a time). I do not fear the resulting illness or pain and suffering. I do not fear most likely due to the fact of this reality for now, going on, the better part of a decade. It is the resulting pain, suffering, fevers, and (most of all) the raspy to bone rattling sounds in my lungs.  It is not fear that stops me, it is the disabling; pain, popping and snapping in my  neck, the fevers, the flu-like aches and pains, the shooting pains into my hands, fingers, arms, shoulders, neck face and chest.

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This morning, as I awoke to a fever rattling in my lungs and numbness in my left arm and hand, I turned my head to look at the clock and a tooth grating and deafening pop/snap in my neck echoes in my ears. All I wanted to do was to get up, take my medications, read some news, start up my computer, get behind the keyboard, and weave tales for you, My Dear Readers, to enjoy. It was not meant to be.

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It is now 5:30PM and I am just now finishing up writing this update/communiqué to you, My Dear Readers. I did not want to just leave you all (after ten articles in seven days) with silence from me. However, I am an thinking clearly and even my most simple and rudimentary writing skills escape me. I pus too hard, and for too long, and then I am incapable to get back up get behind the keyboard and spin the tales I so love to tell.

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I apologize for pushing so hard that it has damaged my health and find myself quite incapable of completing the work. MY Dear readers it is my intention and desire to present to you, as this week progresses; Part Two of ‘The Horror in Smithville’, a new edition of ‘The Mars Report’, an update on ‘Bridgegate’ in New Jersey and more and more engaging articles and stories. For the rest of today, I will rest. Tomorrow I will work to get my much needed appointments confirmed and scheduled. Just as soon as I am able, I plan of working as hard as I can to write and publish the works outlined above. Regardless of pain. Regardless of fevers. Regardless of aches and raspy-rattling coughs. I promise to do my best to provide the content you, My Dear Readers, desire and that I have inside my head… just waiting to be put down into words.

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Today, I wanted to share my dilemma, and hopefully engage your understanding. Yes, I also would like to illicit support and loyalty. However, I know that these must be earned. For four years I have worked to earn your support and loyalty. Oh, FYI this week I will publish the 390^th article at my primary blog location. As well, in just twelve days we will be celebrating my Fourth Anniversary here at The Other Shoe! Hopefully that will coincide with the publication of my 400^th article! By March 22^nd, 2014 we WILL be celebrating 400 articles and FOUR YEARS here at The Other Shoe!

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ENJOY!

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As always I am deeply honored that you come here and read my work.

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Thank YOU!

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[caption id="attachment_2296" align="aligncenter" width="630"] The Other Shoe's Daniel Hanning[/caption]

Horror Story and Status Update 3-8-2014

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[caption id="attachment_2203" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel Hanning of The Other Shoe[/caption]

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            Dear Family, Friends, and Followers of The Other Shoe and here on Facebook,

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                        This week I, finally, pulled the trigger on publishing a horror story. For many months now, perhaps even years, I have wanted to write and publish works of this genre. Thursday I published ‘The Horror in Smithville’, and made good on a promise I made to all My Dear Readers at The Other Shoe.

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                        Unfortunately, my health has yet to return to me. I have fevers, nightly, and my stamina is far from what it once was or should be. I used my speech to text program to write this horror story. Having worked on this piece over three days, and over three hours on Thursday, once Part One was finished I faltered. Rather than proof read this story, I rushed to publish then too to rest. Since Thursday evening, shortly after publication of this story, my body was ravaged with aches and pains, my mind clouded with fevers.

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            I apologize for the state this story was published, and released to you, My Dear Readers. You all know that I take great pride in my work and to allow this, very first, horror story to be read in the condition I now find it is… inexcusable. There are no terrible errors… honestly what I find are mostly typos and the errors one comes to expect when using any speech-to-text program. However, I am ashamed that I published this story prior to proper editing. Today I am taking the time to correct both blogs publication of this horror story.

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            Over the next three, to four, weeks I will be publishing ‘Parts’ of ‘The Horror in Smithville’ until I am finished with this work. Already, I have Part Two mostly written and the outlines, plot points, character development and nemesis nearly complete. My Dear Readers this story is not something I just pushed out and published. I am taking great care with this story. Great care and great pride. Once finished I am confident that this story will mark my entrance into a genre I hope will become a mainstay for my blog and the future of my writing career.

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            Later today I will publish ‘A Week in Review’ for this week. After that I am planning on completing my work on this week’s ‘Sunday Funnies’. Already I have the video shot, uploaded and read for production. Once published ‘Sunday Funnies’ will mark a complete week for The Other Shoe. This is a major accomplishment in that it will be the first week, since my terrible respiratory infection, that I managed to publish most of my regular articles and at least five articles during the week.

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            It is my intent to publish ‘The Mars Report’ on a regular weekly basis, soon. My Dear Readers, I long for the time when I am publishing six and seven articles each and every week. Six to seven articles that include weekly installments of; ‘The Mars Report’, ‘A Week in Review’, ‘Sunday Funnies’, and ‘The Horror in Smithville’ (or like horror story).  That is my desire and design for The Other Shoe. I have, on my personal monthly planner, schedules of publication. Each day of the week marked for the genre or regular publication. Long has it been my desire to have a publication of this type… since Middle School when (for the business class?) I published a weekly magazine/newsletter when everyone else sold baked goods or other items. In this class I was the only student that took the time and effort to write and publish a weekly magazine for sale in the class.

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            I, now, have the space (this blog) and I have the talent… the ideas… the structure… and (for the time being) I have the computer/speech-to-text software/word processing software needed to meet my goals. However, this is something more… something more that people seldom speak of… said best in an old and familiar adage “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak”. Aye, there’s the rub!

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            My Dear Readers, I have everything I need to make my dream a reality. Everything I need to give you,   My Dear Readers, the content and the blog that you desire and deserve. I wish it were that simple. Between my progressive neurological disease, mounting pain and diminishing physical abilities (doubly diminished by my complete lack of a proper and adequate diet) and this new infectious disease (as diagnosed by Dr. Gorlick and the reason for his referral to an Infectious Disease Specialist… Dr. Gorlick fears an infection of either the hardware in my neck… or an infection of the bone graft material).

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            Regardless I do my level best to press forward. However, as you all could see this week… in the inexcusable state of publication of my very first horror story… all too often my body is my nemesis. I promise to do my best to (in the future) to stick to my publication schedule. To do my best to proof work prior to publication. To do my best to meet all content schedules, and to do so without complaint.

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            Thank you for your understanding and support. I just wanted to update all of you, my family, friends and followers of The Other Shoe. Now I will return to correcting this week’s edition of ‘The Horror in Smithville’, to be (hopefully) followed by the publication of ‘A Week in Review’ and ‘Sunday Funnies’.

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            In closing, I wanted to tell you all that I am quite happy to announce that my horror story has been well received. In just the first day I received about Three dozen ‘Likes’ for this story between the two blog locations. I am quite happy with this reception and it gives me the motivation to continue. “Thank you!’

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            Sincerely,

 

                        Daniel L. Hanning

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/e_oGP1B1hI4]

P.S. Over the next two weeks I have appointments with an Oncologist and an Infectious Disease physician. Once I have the status from these exams and tests... I WILL relay this information to you, My Dear Readers. Good or Bad... I will publish all that I find out about my health... and what is ahead for me. Thank you.

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[caption id="attachment_2296" align="aligncenter" width="630"] The Other Shoe's Daniel Hanning[/caption]

All about Danny...

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[caption id="attachment_188" align="aligncenter" width="209"] Danny in 7th Grade[/caption]

(Danny in the 7th Grade)

This post, I am not sure if I am ever going to publish. For the past several years, I have really needed someone to talk to, about 'stuff'. There are things that you don't want to talk to your doctor about, until there is no other choice. Since the beginning, I have tried (very hard); not to 'look' disabled, not to ask anyone for help or assistance, do as much as I can for myself every single day, and never openly admit to how severely my condition effects my life. For most of the past nine years, I have been able to follow these guidelines. Until, about, last year.

Last year, is when that strategy became less viable. I began to fall, a lot. In side my home (which is very small and pretty surprising when you fall in a 12x20 room), fall most times I went outside, fall in the middle of the night getting up to use the bathroom, falling getting in and out of the tub. I was getting bruises all over my arms and legs. Oh, and last year was the year I set my left arm on fire. I mentioned that, in one of the episodes. It wasn't 'funny' I was just so shocked and depressed, when it happened, I did laugh. I don't think anyone ever pictured himself or herself in this kind of condition. I know I didn't.

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[caption id="attachment_184" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Danny and Darrell in 1959, I am the Blonde Driving[/caption]

(Darrell and Danny in 1959, I am in Front)

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Therefore, I talked to my caregiver, first. He was quite upset with me, when I talked to him about the falling. Especially when I told him I had fallen, just a week earlier, in the tub and it took over an hour for me to get out, again. He told me that he had been noticing that my walking was much worse, and it "scares the shit out of me, watching you go up and down stairs!' I really didn't think anyone had noticed, honest. I really had imagined that I was successful in hiding my slow loss of abilities. As well, I had somehow deluded myself into believing that nobody saw the bruises. Allen, my caregiver, helps me get into and out of my bath. Yet, somehow, just because he never mentioned the bruises I had allowed myself to believe he had not seen the bruises. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

Finally Allen pressed enough and demanded to accompany me into the next doctor’s appointment. I was busted. Dr. Gorlick is an extremely intelligent and compassionate individual. He has given me the best possible care, and been instrumental in my dealing with my progressive condition. When Allen finally spoke with Dr. Gorlick, was November of 2011. It was at that visit that Dr. Gorlick wrote the first prescription for a power chair.

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[caption id="attachment_183" align="aligncenter" width="280"] Darrell and Danny Playing on the Old Buick[/caption]

(Danny and Darrell Playing on the Old Buick)

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Well now, some of you might (rightly) be asking yourself; ‘Why a ‘power chair’ and not a wheel chair?”. Good question and one that we went over during the visit. I have; greatly reduced strength, reduced fine motor skill, limited loss of feeling (mostly to motion and heat/cold) in my left arm.

This makes it nearly impossible for me to properly move and guide a wheel chair. These same factors make using a ‘Scooter’ a less than desirable situation. Whereas, when forced, I can use a scooter with just my right hand but the manufacture says they are to be operated with “both Hands” and it is more stable and gives you better control.

Update-

I started writing this piece August 7, 2012. It is now September 5, 2012, approximately one month later. I forgot that I had started this article. I had forgotten that I have tried to communicate my life, to others. After nine years of hiding my disability, nine years of shame that I am half the man I ever was and can do less than half of what I used to be able to do. Nine years of solitude with my disease that has to come to an end.

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[caption id="attachment_191" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Danny and Sebastian[/caption]

(Danny and Sebastian circa 1992)

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I already wrote my article ‘Daniel’s Disability and How it Began’, but this article is different. Today, I am going to tell you about Danny. It is not easy being Danny anymore. Oh, yes, it used to be fun being Danny. In high school I was quite gregarious and enjoyed the company of friends. The plays helped everyone get to know me, and I loved making them laugh. In college I did well with my studies and in my freshman year I nailed a leading role. That doesn’t happen often, in theater. Your first year in a new theater and you are cast in a leading role. I nailed it, of course.

Anyone reading this that saw ‘The Zoo Story’ knows that I nailed that show. Hell, one night when it came to the scene where I was supposed to kill myself on stage, something wild happened.  I turned around with the knife in my chest and an elderly woman on the front row fainted! Yes, fell flat on her face in the front row, right in front of me. I just kept going, as the ushers carried her outside to get some fresh air.

So, yes, I have had some really grand adventures… until now. Now, the adventure is getting out of bed each morning. The adventure is getting to the store to get food. Getting in and out of the bath tub, thatis an adventure. I spend most days trying to figure out how to make it through one more day with my pain.

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[caption id="attachment_187" align="aligncenter" width="286"] Danny in 1965[/caption]

(Danny In Houston 1965, I Am Eight)

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If it were just the pain, I would have better luck at keeping my head on straight. There is more than the pain. Have you ever sat for a really long time, on one leg, then stood up to find that your foot was asleep? Do you remember the pain? Do you remember how you couldn’t walk right until the tingling subsided and the feeling came back? OK, then we have a common frame of reference.

Imagine, just for a moment, that every single time you got to stand up you face that very dilemma. Imagine how you would feel. Would you feel like; going out for a walk, going shopping, going out for a visit with friends? Would you even feel like getting out of bed, if you knew that every single step you were about to take would be an adventure in pain… and humiliation. Yeah, you can’t even imagine, can you. This is what my hands have been like for the past seven years. This is what my left (and now my right) leg and foot have felt like for two years. My friends, what few I have left, don’t like to go out with me anymore. When we go out shopping (and I have to walk because there are no scooters available), and I become irritable and short with people.

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[caption id="attachment_189" align="aligncenter" width="199"] Danny in The Fifth Grade[/caption]

(Danny in the Fifth Grade)

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It doesn’t happen often, but it also has made me more reclusive. That sucks. I was quite gregarious, before all this happened. If you knew me, or even was aware of me, in high school you know that to be true. I enjoy the company of people, and people enjoy being around me. That has become more difficult, and I need help changing. I know what it is, that I have to do. I know that I can not do this, alone. I had the dedication and perseverance to see this through to the end, I am more than half way there. I guess the only question that remains?

Will I get the help I need, to lead a more positive life. If you read my post ‘Daniel’s Disability and How it All Began’ then you are ahead of the game. See, in August of last year I had a visit with a new neurosurgeon. The one that performed my previous surgery has returned to his home in Switzerland. So, my new neurosurgeon looks over all the scans, the reports and the x-rays. He performs a cursory physical and a neurological exam, and makes notes. Then he turns to me and tells me:

“You seem like and intelligent person, Mr. Hanning. You have brought more scans and reports to this appointment than I think any patient. I have looked over the reports and looked at the scans myself. (A Good Neurosurgeon will ALWAYS review the actual scans, and not just depend on reports) And, Mr. Hanning your prognosis is not good… but I imagine you know that already, right?”

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[caption id="attachment_198" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Danny March 2001 @ Disneyland[/caption]

(Danny March 2001 Disneyland)

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Dr. Tran and I spent the next half hour discussing the failures of my last surgery, and his prognosis.

“Your condition is not conducive to life.”

Multimillion dollar education and they make a simple statement into… this emotionless… legally non-binding… cold statement. I go to interrupt and ask him the question, he continues.

“Your condition will, most likely, never improve. Most likely, your condition will progress. The progression of your condition has increased, over the past 6-12 months.”

He then explains that his findings, from the physical and neurological exams, showed that I was loosing strength in my upper left leg and that I am experiencing loss of fine motor skill in my right hand, too. I ask him what he can do:

“Mr. Hanning, if you had walked into my office with a broken neck I could do more for you… I mean, if you walked into an E.R. and I was the attending… “

“Medical science can only do so much. This is a progressive disease that will… progress. You will experience more and more neurological and physical losses.”

I am sitting there, and we all know what is going through my mind. Evidently he knew what we are thinking. His very next statement, chilled me to the bones.

“Mr. Hanning, you have seen the images. I know, you printed them out. I know you know what you are looking at, because of the images you printed.”

All true, I spent many a summer working archiving x-rays where my father worked. I knew how to read x-rays and MRI images… well enough.

“What do you want me to tell you, Mr. Hanning? There is nothing I can do for you, your problem is inoperable. Well, no responsible surgeon would operate. Once that disc cuts off the spinal cord… well, that is not conducive with life.”

OK, for everyone that; didn’t come from a medical family (like me) or worked in clinical pharmacology (like me) or had much medical experience, or experience with doctors, Dr. Tran was explaining to me that my condition will take my life.

Yeah… I’ll let that sink in for a minute.

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It took me several… a lot of time, for me to speak. How uncharacteristic of me!

“So, I am going to die?”

 He laughed… he honestly laughed!

“We all die sometime, Mr. Hanning. It’s just that you are going to die before most of us… before you should, because of your condition… and the way the last surgery was done.”

Yes, how the last surgery was done. We’ll circle around back to that, soon.

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[caption id="attachment_197" align="aligncenter" width="290"] Danny Ken Darrell - HIS Three Sons[/caption]

(Danny, Ken and Darrell... His Three Sons)

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Bottom line, in that visit. On that day. I came to a realization that has changed my life. That day I learned; I would continue to experience physical and neurological losses to my body that would eventually end in death. “We all die, sometime, Mr. Hanning.”  Just some of us will be existing stage left sooner than others. It has been eleven months, since that meeting. My condition has remained true to form. I have no expectation of a‘miracle’. Those mostly happen in movies, and when they do happen, they don’t happen for people like me. I’m not rich. I don’t have rich friends or family. The die has been cast, and my fate has been sealed. All that remains? How I spend this reaming time.

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[caption id="attachment_193" align="aligncenter" width="260"] Danny 1988 @ A Company Christmas Party[/caption]

(Danny in 1998 @ A Company Christmas Party)

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The past month, has not been bad. I have enjoyed, finally, writing and having people read what I write. That is a very nice feeling. I appreciateevery view. I am touched by the generosity of others; both family and friends. This generosity will never be forgotten, for as long as I live.

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[caption id="attachment_195" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Danny @ The Tinder Box 1987[/caption]

(Danny @ The Tinder Box in 1987)

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I have decided. For as long as I am able. For as long as I can get to a keyboard and the internet, I will continue to write, for you. I will do my best to; entertain and share my life. I will do what I can to take you to other places, see other things. I will share my hopes and dreams, but I will also share my pain.

Aye, there’s the rub. For the past two months I have been secretive, about my pain. That stops today. For the past eight years I have tried to hide my disability. That stops today. From now on, I promise to be truthful about what I am going trough. I promise to be honest and forthright with all that read my words.

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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="220"] Daniel's Moving Assistance Fund[/caption]

(Danny @ Terrace 2001)

Thank you for your generosity and support! 

http://www.indiegogo.com/DannyHanning