My Dear Shoevians, I (Regretfully) Ask for YOUR HELP!

Danny Hanning

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 Welcome back My Dear Shoevians to The Other Shoe. My Dear Shoevians for the past several weeks I have struggled with increased constant pain. I have tried, very hard, to overcome this pain and keep to a regular writing and publishing schedule. My reasons for this is two-fold. First, I long to write... to publish... to create! Without my ability to work a job, to clock in and work a job... a career that I love... my writing is my solace. Second, My Dear Shoevians, is YOU! For the past four years I have written an published for you! I do not do it for money... which, due to my current situation... I regret deeply. I do not put ads on my blogs. I do not make money from your; reading, learning, entertainment.

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Now, due to an unforeseen circumstance, I am without my computer. This computer has; my Word program, my Voice-to-Text (Dragon Speaking) program, my Animation program, my Publishing program, ALL of my 650+ articles and all of my passwords saved in memory. I have owned this laptop (HP DV 9500t CTO) computer since Christmas 2007. ALL of my best writing was done on this laptop computer. I know how it works, I know how to publish quickly and easily on this computer. Now, due to a mistake I made while panicking, the video card (built into the motherboard) is fried!

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This laptop computer cost me (roughly) $2,000.00 eight years ago (this Christmas). Today, it will cost me about $400 to have it repaired. Another 17.5' laptop computer; of equal power and ability, with NEW licensing for all the writing/editing/publishing/animation programs will cost me much more than having it repaired. You see, My Dear Shoevians, it is not just the cost of another laptop replacement. I can find that, at WalMart refurbished/clearance for $500-$600. However, then I have to purchase another; Word Processing program (WORD preferably... I know how to use Word... like, in my sleep), Speech-to-text program, Publisher program (for newsletters, fliers, business cards, and everything else I use and need), animation program (I am looking to replace/upgrade the 'Sunday Funnies' series with MY animations), Iolo System Mechanic Professional, Anti-Virus program, and ALL of the other programs I have and USE on this laptop computer.

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All told, I would have to spend another $500-$600 on programs just to get another new laptop up to the quality and usability of my current laptop. Over the past ten days I have given this a great deal of thought, consideration and soul-searching. This is the best and cheapest course of action. Now, for the kicker!

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My Dear Shoevians, I am in no financial position to purchase; a new laptop and all the software I need to produce and publish at the professional level I have for the past five years. My Dear Shoevians, it has been years since I have asked for any assistance. Any financial support whatsoever, and I am proud of that fact. I do not like/enjoy/relish asking anyone for any kind of help. It goes against my upbringing, against my belief(s)... and it hurts to ask... and hurts even MORE when I fail to garner much needed support.

However, without any assistance I will be unable to; write, publish, inform, entertain and share my views. This is, already, causing me grief and frustration. If you are a Facebook friend, you will have (likely) seen evidence of this in my posts. My writing and publishing is my creative outlet. It gives me center, it distracts me from my constant and growing levels of pain. Without it, I feel more pain and I sleep less and my sleep is fitful. I am in shambles. I am beside myself. I am without my center... without my creative outlet... without my reason for living.

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I know that appears extreme... and I do not want to frighten anyone. I am not in a 'dark place' and not having hurtful thoughts. That is a reality, but it is getting more and more difficult to make it through each day. My Dear Shoevians, my need is genuine. This is not some pseudo-cry-for-help, I genuinely need financial assistance to get my writing/publishing laptop computer back up and running. I would be willing to sign an agreement to repay any funds! I could manage to pay back $50 a month, and not loose too much food... or medications.

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My Dear Shoevians, I deeply apologize for coming to you and asking for help. I am willing to provide evidence that the computer is being repaired. An invoice for the repairs, pictures of the 'Device Manager' showing that the video adapter is not working. Screenshots of the desktop with the visual artifacts that prove it is the video card. I am willing to provide any/all evidence that all monies will go to the repair of the laptop and to NOTHING ELSE!

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This computer has been at my side since Christmas 2007! EVERYTHING I have written for The Other Shoe(s) has been written on THIS computer! I have a creative-bond with this computer. Right now I am writing this article on a borrowed computer without Word or any word processor. I downloaded and installed “Open Office' to create this article. I do not think I will/would be able to 'barrow' this computer often...

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My Dear Shoevians, my back is against the wall! I am fearful of being without... it, and without my creative outlet.

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PLEASE! My Dear Shoevians, PLEASE consider assisting me? I have TRIED and TRIED and TRIED to find a way other than what I ask here today!

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Want to know how desperate I am? I am going to publish my PHONE NUMBER and EMAIL so that someone can help! It SCARES ME GREATLY to do so... but I just cannot think of a way to get the help I need... in a timely fashion.. without sharing this contact information. ONCE I have obtained the help... I will remove this information HOPING that I have not invited disaster... already. PLEASE My Dear Shoevians... reach out and HELP? (714) 931-2436. enzomatrix@earthlink.net

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PLEASE HELP ME? 

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Thank you!

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© 2010 – 2015 Hanning Web Wurx and The Other Shoe

Danny Update-Medical February 5th 2014

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[caption id="attachment_2295" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Danny at Palos Verdes Medical Group February 4, 2014[/caption]

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                        Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. First, I would like to “Thank you!” to everyone that came by last week, and the week before. I am not sure if you all noticed, but? I now have several articles with 45 ‘Likes’ and that hasn’t happen in a month of Sundays! Thank you for all of the ‘Likes’ and Shares and mentions to friends and family. You have no idea just how Good I feel when I see all the traffic and all of the ‘Likes’. It makes my day, or week.

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Next, I have been absent, from The Other Shoe, since Sunday and for that I apologize.  I have, literally, a half-dozen articles swirling around in my head, as I write this on Wednesday. Lack of ideas, lack of content, lack of creativity? Not the problem. Aye, there’s the rub!

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Yesterday, Tuesday February 4^th, 2014, was my quarterly visit to my Primary Care/Gerontologist/Internal Medicine doctor, Dr. Gorlick. See, I first started seeing Dr. Gorlick here in Los Alamitos Medical Center, just a few miles away. It would take me 10-15 minutes to get to see him, and the same return. I would be gone3, from my home, for about 90 minutes, and be done except for going to the pharmacy to get prescriptions filled. Not anymore… not even close.

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Yesterday started @ 9:00AM embarking on an OCTA transit mini-bus right here outside my home. By 10:00AM I was at Disneyland waiting on my transfer to an L.A. Access bus (mini-van). Approximately 10:45AM I was getting loaded into the afore mentioned L.A. minivan, and off we went. We had one pick-up and one drop-off, then off to Rolling Hills Estates and The Promenade on the Peninsula. We arrived at 12:30PM for my 1:30PM appointment with Dr. Gorlick. We wandered around the (upscale) mall, window shopped (with the accompanying sticker shock) and ate some homemade bread we had packed for our journey.

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About this time I was getting the feeling we were in a ‘Lord of the Rings’ wannabe episode eating homemade lembas bread., as we had no money for food or drink. We enjoyed the fresh air and the very nicely stocked stores and displays. About 1:00PM we entered the Palos Verdes Medical Groupand checked in at the front desk. After about fifteen minutes of waiting (@ 1:15-1:20PM) we were told that Dr. Gorlick was ruining a little late, no problem I had until 3:30PM to get done and be ready for pick-up. Dr. G came in about 1:35PM… not even late. It was Dr. Gorlick’s Brithday and he was running a little late from a lunch date with his daughter. Who, by the way, had flown in from New York just to wish her father ‘Happy Birthday’.

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We met with Dr. Gorlick as he was entering the medical center, shook hands and I wished him a ‘Happy Birthday”. I have been seeing Dr. Gorlick for going on eight years, now, and I knew his birthday is February 4^th, 2014. He told me about his ‘Super Bowl Party/Birthday Party and we talked casually for ten to fifteen minutes. Then we got down to medicine. I explained my; growing pain, sleepless nights, fevers, (occasional) night sweats, headaches, developing arthritis and the grinding and popping sounds coming back in my cervical spine.

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Then I showed him the lump I had discovered at my right jawbone, mid-jaw. He frowned, and made some notes. We discussed how long I had been taking my current pain medications, and offered to change my pain medication to a stronger type of medication. He told me that I simply must make an appointment and see an ‘Infectious Disease Specialist’ for the fevers and night sweats. He had taken an HIV/Aids test in July and it had come back negative, as every other test of that type since I was 30.

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He had no answer for the fevers, elevated white counts and fatigue. He told me that he thought it was a strong probability that I had an infection in the bone grafts in my cervical spine or the “hardware”. JOY! Next, the lump.

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I am to make an appointment with an oncologist and an Ear/Nose and Throat doctor to evaluate the lump for cancer. His thoughts? Most likely a benign cancer that is removable secondary to thirty years smoking (I quite six years ago when I turned 50).

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Ok, wrapping up because my neck is just about to commit murder, here. My cervical degenerative disc disease is (big surprise) degenerating. Discs that were merely protruding into the spinal canal, have now ruptured. Discs, further up my spinal column, that we only slightly herniated are now the ones protruding into the spinal column. JOY! As if that is not enough ‘Good News’ for one visit?

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[caption id="attachment_2297" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Promenade on the Peninsula Flyer[/caption]

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The lumps are likely cancerous in etiology and can be either benign or not. No sense in jumping to conclusions or freaking out until I see the doctors I need to see. That won’t be until March… or April. Going to have to wait until I have the financial resources behind me prior to jumping that shark.

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Overall? A ‘Good Day’! All my rides were on time, or late. Meaning I wasn’t rushed at all during the day, just really hungry. I very much enjoyed the ride, I got a view of the L.A. harbor from the top of the Rolling Hills going down into San Perdo. What a view!

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Dr. Gorlick understood my increase in pain levels, and my lack of sleep and rest and graduated my pain medications to the next level. That is going to help me a lot.

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Now, I am going to go and get some rest. I just wanted to keep you all updated and let you know that I am thinking of you. I do hate these periods of slower publications of content. I have lots of ideas and several outlines I can write and publish quickly… just as soon as I am out of more pain, and I get out and get some much needed food.

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As always I am deeply honored that you come here and read my work.

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Thank YOU!

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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="234"] The Other Shoe eBay Store[/caption]

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[caption id="attachment_2296" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Danny Leaving Palos Verdes Medical Group 2/2014[/caption]

 

 

Personal Update and Technical Problems January 22nd, 2014

Dear Family, Friends and Followers of @ The Other Shoe,

                        It has come to my attention that my primary blog location for The Other Shoe is down, today. I have made a report of this problem, however, any publications today will only appear at my word press location (www.theothersshoe.wordpress.com)

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I look forward to publishing, today… although I might just take today to get caught up writing ‘The Adventures of Princess Nadia’ until both blog locations are fully functioning. My Dear Readers, I made a video today… of an empty freezer and refrigerator. I have taken my last few dollars to pay down on my phone bill. I simply must have a cell phone to travel to and from my doctor’s appointment on the 4^th of February.

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Once that appointment is over I am, hopefully, going to move my cell service (and number, I hope) to another cheaper cellular provider. I continue to do everything I can to keep ahead of the wolves, keep writing and publishing, keep a sharp eye pealed for business opportunities, work and keeping my relationship level and stable, manage my pain to the best of my ability, and do the least amount of complaining I can manage.

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I do not waste money by purchasing; fast food, video games, DVDs or anything others might consider frivolous. I am frugal as can be, and genuinely dislike asking for help or assistance from anyone. However, being without food is bad for my health.

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I will work with the technical support @ blog.com and see if I can get my primary blog location up and running, today. I am looking forward to sharing my views of the many problems that currently plague New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. I am working to make that article happen as soon as possible, and look forward to publishing soon.

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Thank you for all your kindness, visits, Likes, Shares and support through these troubling times. You, My Dear Readers, are vital to me.

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Thank you!

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/_ApH0qbVDto]

 P.S. For anyone that desires to extend some assistance, for food. Contributions can be made directly via PayPal to enzomatrix@earthlink.net Daniel Hanning. Any and all contributions and/or support is greatly apprecaited and will go towards food alone. Thank you for your kindness and support.

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[caption id="attachment_1812" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Just a shot of a VERY thankful Danny in His Power Chair[/caption]

Random Thoughts and Events...

Random thoughts and events, chained together…

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[caption id="attachment_1841" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Prep for Daniel's Crock Pot Beef Stew[/caption]

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            Welcome back My Dear Readers  to The Other Shoe. Life is nothing more than a random set of events, that we (as humans) assign; dates, priorities and brain space. If any one of us was just dropped into a life unknown, wouldn’t we wonder… Why does he remember this… why does she still fear that ,this happen so long ago… or why does that still cause him so much pain and suffering, it wasn’t his fault. Wouldn’t we forgive them? Wouldn’t we see past their frailties… their perceived failures?  If we all had just one life to change, for the better, wouldn’t we set someone else free from their pain and suffering?

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[caption id="attachment_1845" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Prep For Daniel's Homemade White Bread[/caption]

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Monday, for all Americans (regardless of where they are, or live) was Veterans Day. My father served in the Army-Air Core in World War 2. My eldest brother, Ken, served in Vietnam, and my middle brother Darrell served his country in the Air Force flying over China and translating mainland communications from a flying technical wonder. For two generations ‘Hanning’ males have served this nation in the military.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/5x2Q1kJj7p4]

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When I was 13, right before my father walked out of my life… and our family, he said something profound to me… (My father always said the most profound and wonderful things to me… I know now… he said them to me because he trusted me… trusted that I would not judge him... his thoughts… who he was… inside…) he said to me;

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            “Danny, I want one of my sons to go to college. Not to just leave high school and go off to serve. You are my last chance. Will you go to college?”

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I could never say “No” to my father. He could have, right then, asked me to try my best to go to the moon… and I would have told him;

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            “Yes!”

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So, I did.

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[caption id="attachment_1850" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel's Homemade White Bread Rising[/caption]

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While every American was doing what they do, to celebrate or commemorate, Veterans Day... or just being happy to have a Monday off from work. While all that was happening, around our great nation. I was cooking and baking.

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Therefore a lot of this article is going to be videos and pictures from my Veterans Day of baking and cooking around my home. See, My Dear Readers, I don’t really celebrate Veterans Day as other people do, there is very good reason why.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/11CNEgf-8Gw]

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My brother Ken joined the Army (@17) because you could not make passing grades in high school, and he didn’t want to fail my father. (if you had known my father… you would understand that… NOBODY failed my Dad… NO-friking-Buddy!). So, Kenny Ray joined the Army, to avoid being a failure to his dad.

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Ken came back from boot camp, and he was introduced ( by one of his firends that did not go to Vietnam) to this very nice Jewish girl. I say that because that’s how I remember her, but also because I remember seeing her sitting on his bed, in his bedroom. Them holding hands and talking. And oh my goodness, My Dear Readers, she was everything you think when you say she was a Jewish girl. She had the thick black framed glasses, she had the long curly hair, she had the quiet giggle or laugh, and she had the carriage of a young woman with very old and very deeply held beliefs.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/nlWnlacmVz0]

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I never talked to Ken about this, but I think I know what he saw in her. He saw in her something he found lacking in himself, a deeply held belief in very old things, old traditions, a very old religion. Moreover, Ken, he respected her for that and I think he wanted to be a part of that more than anything.

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Ken went from boot camp to a very prestigious posting, with the United States Army. He went to Washington DC where he helped stand guard for ‘The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It’s not a post easily obtained, it’s a post with much honor and dignity. He was there, as I remember, about six months. Then our Army offered him two choices. The choices were;

A.)  He can go for four years to serve on a base in Germany or

B.)  He could go to Vietnam for six months.

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Ken, being the impulsive Hanning he was, (head and heart full of love) Ken chose the six months in Vietnam. (Ken did not understand.. that choice… dictated the course of the rest of his life… and death) He chose the six months because he was afraid this wonderful Jewish girl would find someone else if he was gone for years.

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[caption id="attachment_1842" align="aligncenter" width="630"] All The Wonderful Veggies That Make Up My Beef Stew[/caption]

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I remember, clearly, I overheard my mother and father talk about this, (at 55 I began to realize…) I was very self-aware child. Mother cried, dad yelled. See, they didn’t understand that Ken so desperately wanted to be loved he put himself in harms way, just for a chance to be a part of what he saw in her eyes and to be loved by her. At the time my father was still in the Air Force reserves, he did what he could. He pulled on whatever strings he had attached…  he made calls… He spun his wheels in the mud that was soon to be my eldest brothers life. It changed nothing.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/6NfCGBdJm8I]

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Ken went to Vietnam, while he was there the good Jewish girl sent to a dear John letter. She broke up with him, as any person in the 60s would’ve known she probably was going to. As it was the early 60s there is no way a good Jewish girl was going to marry outside the faith. Especially marry outside the faith to a young man who put himself in harms way. Had someone just said that to Ken, before he left for Vietnam, that this would happen? Ken would’ve never been exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam. And, Ken would not have died of leukemia at 39. That’s one of the reasons why I really don’t celebrate Veterans Day... the same way most other Americans the people do.

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Below you’ll see some pictures I’ve taken, and I think I will probably put some above to break what was happening there. As well, I will post some of the videos of the wonderful beef stew crockpot I made on Monday. I got up at 5 AM, on Monday, to put the ingredients in my bread maker to make some fresh homemade bread for Allen to eat with fresh homemade stew. Like most Americans, in the 21^st century, most days Allen I consume... well, garbage. Premade processed food churned out by fast food companies with profits not health in mind. So when I get money I try and buy a lot of really good whole ingredients and make something at home that Alan & I can enjoy several times during the week.

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[youtube=http://youtu.be/KIVIe9tp-FA]

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The next video you’ll see, is the second step in the process getting ready to put all the vegetables and meat in the crockpot. The bread is kneading nicely, the bread finished really nice, but we ate it all before I can get a shot of it. My apologies.

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Life really is nothing more than a random set of events and memories that we, as humans, try to piece together and call a life. 25 years ago my mother died. The members of my family, that were in Texas, (I was in California as I have been the past 35 years). The members of my family that were in Texas, in Pearland, told me that I wasn't wanted there. I was not allowed to attend my own mother’s funeral. My brother, Darrell, is the one that told me I wasn’t welcome. He never shied away when it came to being harsh to me, thrashing my dreams, verbally and physically abusing me. Darrell was always the first up to bat.

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[caption id="attachment_1848" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel's Homemade White Bread Rising[/caption]

 

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I hope, one day, to visit my mother’s grave. I don’t think that’s asking much… Really. For a boy, to someday, visit his mother’s grave. You think that’s asking too much?

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[caption id="attachment_1812" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Just a shot of a VERY thankful Danny in His Power Chair[/caption]

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Life is nothing more than a random set of events, and memories, that we humans pieced together and call it…  a life.

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How’s yours?

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As always, I am deeply honored that you come here and read my work.

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Thank you!

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P.S. And another heartfelt thank you to all that helped me make this new home a reality.