To Be, or NOT to Be...

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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. My Dearest Readers I come here today to make… an… admission. I come here, to this blog… this blog with over Six Hundred Articles… this blog that is over four years old and has over six hundred articles… to make an admission. On March 10^th, 2010 I, Daniel Hanning, created this blog The Other Shoe (as in ‘waiting for The Other Shoe to drop) for a singular primary reason. Oh, there were a lot of reasons I started this blog, My Dear Readers. I had, recently, found out that I would never walk the same… I would be in pain… for the rest of my life… I had stories to tell, that lived in my heart and mind. There were a lot of secondary and tertiary reasons, My Dear Readers, for me starting this blog. But, there was only ONE primary reason I started this blog.

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AMERICA. My Dearest Readers there was only ONE primary reason that, on March 10^th 2010, I started this blog. I was gravely concerned about America. To be more specific, I was gravely concerned about the political dialogue here in America. Extrapolating, I was gravely concerned about the tone of political dialogue in America. I was gravely concerned at the immediate tone of political dialogue in America could/would do severe and irreversible damage to our fragile Republic. Politics.

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YES, My Dearest Readers, the tone of the political dialogue following the election of President Barrack Obama had created a genuine concern. I had a genuine concern of the (possible) irreversible damage to our fragile Republic. I created The Other Shoe as a counter weight to the, often vicious and hateful, political dialogue that dominated some of our national media outlets. My Dearest Readers, I created this blog in the hopes that I could possibly help to create an alternative to the growing; negative, personally vicious, and often hateful hyperbolic rhetoric that (appeared) to be the cornerstone of some of our national media outlets.

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Truthfully, My Dearest Readers, I did not come into this blog without previous experience in; writing, publishing and editing. Prior to starting this blog I had spent several years as the Political Editor for the web site ‘All Out Games’. ‘All Out Games’ was (to be) an international web site for gay gamers. Yes, that is correct. I had joined a group of young men that wanted to create a web presence for gay gamers, from all over the world. To create place where gay gamers, from all over the world, could come to and (without prejudice or hatred) discuss gaming… and what it was to be a ‘Gay Gamer’. At this time World of Warcraft would not allow a “Gay Guild” in game. When playing multiplayer online games, one of the sure ways to get kicked form a game would be to mention you are gay… or act or sound ‘gay’.

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We were the only web site, in the world, designed and created (from the ground up) for that sole purpose. After, only, a few weeks of posting to threads? The founder and administrator of the web site sent me a personal message asking me if I want to write articles for this web site. After only a few weeks of that, he asked me to be the ‘Editor in Chief’ for the sections; ‘Personal Computers’ (meant for tips on maintaining and upgrading PC hardware/software), PC game Reviews, and … … … POLITICS. For the next 18 months I did my very best to; write engaging and informative reviews (that included in-game screenshots and short videos), wrote articles about how to maintain the personal computers and update/upgrade their hardware and software, and I wrote political articles.

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‘All Out Games’ was my very first experience writing political articles for online publication. After, about, two years I left ‘All Out Games’. I did not leave, the staff, of that wonderful and supportive web site for any reason that most might imagine. I did leave the staff because they (the owner/Admin) totally changed format(s). It went from ‘All Out Games’ a web site for gay gamers (Mostly PC games, we didn’t really cover consoles)… went from gay gaming TO… … … ‘Homo Mojo’ a web site devoted to… … … the review and promotion of… … … gay videos.

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Now the admin, the writing staff, a majority of the regulars, and the group of FoE’(s) [Friends of Enzo] begged me to stay on and keep writing reviews. Oh, back then I wrote and published under the moniker ‘Enzo Matrix’. It had been my handle in most online games and in World of Warcraft, too. There was a large outcry, from the readers and even most of the writing/editing staff, for me to stay on and “keep up your great work”. I did think and consider my course of action very seriously, My Dear Readers. However, what I just could not get past was just how (people like you, My Dear Readers) would ‘see’ me after publishing on a web site that just reviewed and promoted gay pornographic movies. Remember, this was in 2005, and attitudes about pornographic movies were not the same as today.

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My Dearest Readers I really wanted (desired) to (one day) be taken seriously as a writer of political articles. I had genuine concerns that, IF, I spent any length of time writing and publishing reviews of gay pornographic videos it would greatly damage my chances of being taken seriously as a political writer. I stayed on, as a web site member, for several weeks. I watched, the change, read the work of the writers and carefully considered my course of action. Remember, My Dearest Readers, that this was my very first ‘paying gig’ as a writer. As well, I had a rather large group of followers that very much enjoyed my work.

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Not only would I loose a paying gig, I would (likely) loose all my followers, a viable outlet for my political works, and the only real replacement for the work I was no longer able to do. It was a very difficult decision and I labored over this decision for more than a week. In the end, I realized that writing reviews and promotional material for gay pornographic materials and videos just was not; (1) What I wanted to do, (2) Was more likely to harm my future prospects than improve them {finally} (3) I had never really been a fan of… enjoyed… spent time watching gay pornographic videos or magazines or anything. It really was ‘outside my limits of experiences. To this day I feel I made the correct decision and I have no regrets.

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This all took place the later part of 2005, and it ended up being the correct decision for more than the reasons I outlined so far. Because, it was in 2005 that my state disability payments maxed out and my application for Social Security Disability reached its second rejection. It was in 2005 that I went about hiring an disability attorney, going to a lot more doctor appointments, a lot more X-rays and scans, and they discovered that even more was wrong with my cervical spine. For the next five years I did not publish but I continued to write, on my computer, and I played games as much as my pain allowed.

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My Dearest Readers, when I started this article (Sunday night 12/14/14) I honestly thought I would finish this tale in just a few pages and just one night. WRONG! Now, rather than try to boil this article down to just a few pages more and publish a poorly written work? I have decided to make this ‘Part One’ of a multiple part article. Edit this, tonight, and publish it for promotion tomorrow, Monday. Then, tomorrow, I will do my very best to get to the meat of my story and this article for publication on Tuesday or Wednesday. When it is published will greatly depend on how my chemotherapy goes and how my body reacts.

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I am going to shoot for a Wednesday publication, My Dear Readers. That way I will have articles published on; Monday, Wednesday and Friday! Three articles in one week is a good and reasonable publication goal. It is not my previous goal of six to seven articles in a seven day period. However, it is much better than my (for the past month or so) one article every seven days. I like this new publication schedule because it is substantially more writing published in seven days, but it is a goal that I feel I can meet!

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So, I am going to go back and edit/review my work. Then I am going to upload this article to my blog(s), embed some images and schedule it for publication for Monday morning! Tehn, tomorrow, as I am getting prepared for Tuesday’s chemotherapy I can finish writing the article. Label it is ‘Part Two’, edit/review, upload, embed and schedule for publication on Tuesday or Wednesday. Then I have just to create and write/edit/publish one more article for Friday and I have greatly increased my publication output!

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Now, My Dear Readers, let’s remember that ‘when we left off’ I had left ‘All Out Games’ and was about to win my Social Security Disability and Medicare benefits. Winning these benefits would allow me the resources to purchase an all new computer and ‘Word’ software to write. These two factors would really empower me to reach out and grab ‘The Other Shoe’!

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My Dear Readers I am going to do my best to get you all caught up on the articles about my last TWO chemotherapy treatments, my (November) visit to my primary care physician, and all other medical appointments… by the end of this year. From right before my initial diagnosis I promised to keep all of you, My Dear Readers, in-the-loop. Keep you all up-to-date with my diagnosis, my treatment and the outcome of my treatment. I have no intention to go back on that promise, I know that a good many of you are genuinely interested in my care and treatment and I want to honor your caring.

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I hope that everyone has enjoyed reading, today, and that you come back to read the conclusion of this article series. Tuesday I will be at the Transfusion Center for my chemotherapy. I do not know if I will be on Facebook, but I am pretty sure that I will not publish on Tuesday… That is… unless, of course, I completely finish writing/editing/uploading/embedding tomorrow.

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!

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© 2010 – 2014
Hanning Web Wurx and The Other Shoe

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A Valentine's Day Tale

A Valentine's Day Tale - A Time We Must Never Forget by Daniel Hanning

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[caption id="attachment_2203" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Daniel Hanning of The Other Shoe[/caption]

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            Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. Today, Friday February 14^th, 2014 is Valentine’s Day for most people here in America. However, today holds a different provenance, for yours truly.  When I was a very young boy, I would guess I was six or seven. My paternal Grandfather was visiting our home, Cecil Hanning.  

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He did not visit us, since we had moved from Foster street, closer to downtown Houston. Therefore, when he visited I was always wanting to spend the most time with him. Grandfather Hanning.. was very sad , on this Valentine’s Day. I could see it in his eyes, I felt it in him when I hugged. There was a great sadness in him, and… being the diligent young grandson… I wanted to help lift his sadness. That act, of a very young Danny would… forever change Valentine’s day… for me.

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I apologize, that if upon reading, that my retelling to this tale… might color your Valentine’s Day. For many, that grew up with me... back in Houston and later in Pearland do not know of this day. Today, you learn more about me… my family… my upbringing… my family’s past. While living on Foster street, in Houston, my Grandfather would take me into the basement of our home and tell me… of the Jewish heritage our family… mostly ignored.

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My paternal grandfather was separated from my paternal grandmother. Drink, and the making of and distribution of alcohol, was the impetuous for their separation. My grandfather still drank, but not today. Today, he took me into the backyard and we sat under a great cottonwood tree, in the corner of the backyard. I was six… it was February, so this would have been 1964. Our President Kennedy had been lost to the world, just months before.

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It was on February 14^th, 1964 that my paternal grandfather told me of another time. A time past, but one he feared might well return. That return is why at such a young age or six years old, my grandfather sat me under our cottonwood tree and explained to me… ‘The Final Solution’[1].

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  MY father was a late convert to the Jewish faith. However, do not mistake is conversion later in life for a lack of understanding of his new faith. He left his Catholic childhood, and upbringing, to join in marriage with the woman is his dreams, my paternal grandmother. She was Jewish, born and raised in an area referred to as The Black Forest in northern Germany. They met on the streets of New York City, both in their early twenties and both newly minted American Immigrants. So much, my paternal grandfather, loved his soon to be wife, he embraced her religion and converted to Judaism.

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On that Valentine’s Day I spent several hours in my backyard listening intently to my grandfather tell a tale of Nationalism and angry division. He explained how a wounded Germany sought to heal it’s wounds by engaging in a state of “Super Nationalism”. Then, how the Brown Shirts and later many elements of the Nationalized party sought to make the Jewish people a scapegoat for all their hard feelings. How this nationalist fervor was quickly transformed into angry dividing prejudge. How quickly that translated into the greatest slaughter of a people in modern times.

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Remember, the time was early 1964. America was divided, itself, on the issue of equality for African America’s right of the vote. He would sit at home, alone, and watch as these people were set upon by dogs. Had fire hoses turned upon them, and even hanged in public gatherings. He did not focus of the brutality of the great Holocaust he sought to draw lines. Lines between a national frame of mind and the corresponding, following, grave actions.

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You see, My Dear Readers, Valentine’s Day could not pass without him thinking of his “Jewish bride” (his words) without thinking of the great anger, and the dividing power of prejudice that brought his people to the very edge of extinction. He drew parallels between how America ignored Germany’s enslavement, then extinction of the Jewish people for years and years. Then he drew lines, again, between America’s intentional ignorance of wrongdoing, to that he saw… again, today. (1964)

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The shank of the day was gone, and I remember seeing an urgency in his face, and his words, towards the end. MY father would soon be home from work, and he would not be allowed to spend time alone with me, once my father arrived. I never understood why, but my father did not like me spending time alone with my paternal grandfather. On this day, I remember wishing time would slow, just for my grandfather to have time… time to tell me what was weighing on his so.

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The next thirty minutes will never leave me; they are engrained into my very soul. He warned me, with remembrances of his childhood and as a young man at the time of ‘The Final Solution’. How America stood silent, while millions of his people were firs enslaved, then marched into gas chambers. He spoke like every work mattered more than the last. He spoke with an urgency, yet reverence that I have never heard again. What did he warn me of?

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 Cecil, on that Valentine’s Day cautioned me. To watch for a nation, gripped in greed and drowning in reoccurring flows of nationalism. He did not say “it might happen again some day”. No, his words of warning were much more… precise, much more severe. On that fateful Valentine’s Day my paternal grandfather charged me with a task. A task that will follow me through out my life. The task of watching for a time when our nation is both gripped in greed and avarice. A time when, either due invasion or war, is gripped with waves of nationalism.

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Cecil, on that day, told me that it would happen again. That mankind is a creature destined to repeat his greatest sins, time and again. That I should watch for a time, when greed and avarice are seen as desirable attributes. Following, or at the same time, as a nation drowning in flows of nationalism…  A pride in our country not earned by act or inclusiveness of all citizens. No, a nationalism born out of division. That when, not if, I see these two occurrences… To guard my words.

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It was at this time that my father came into the backyard, home from work. He took me up, into his arms, and brought my grandfather and me into the house. We had dinner, later that night, and then my father drove his father home. Later, my father, he would ask me what we were talking about. I told him just stories about his time with his wife, my grandmother. I did not want to worry my father. You see, it was not his charge that was given on that fateful Valentine’s Day. The charge. Was mine.

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As always I am deeply honored that you come here and read my work.

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Thank YOU!

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[caption id="attachment_2296" align="aligncenter" width="630"] The Other Shoe's Daniel Hanning[/caption]

 

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[1]http://www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10005151