Notes From Behind the Keyboard - September 14th 2014

[caption id="attachment_3512" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Danny[/caption]

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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. I want to thank everyone that has dropped by, this past week. As my treatment has gone forward, my writing has gone backward. I just do not feel up to writing, in between puking. I am writing this article, ‘Sunday Funnies’ and a brief ‘A Week in Review’ today. Then I am going to get some more much needed rest. I am writing this article, first, so that I can get something off my chest.

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As I stated above, I have curtailed my chemotherapy… “until further notice”. Reason: Between the ‘staging’ appointments, tests/scans and doctor’s appointments? Allen ended up with two paychecks each less than $60.00! Problem: Allen and I cannot live on that little money. Taken forward, if we had continued we would not have enough money left over, after; food, phone bills, and internet to pay our rent.

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That made thing pretty darn simple, from my standpoint. Either the treatments and appointments ended or Allen, Alex, and I would be homeless. Doesn’t take too much higher math skills to figure this one out. Now for those that are tempted to ‘nit pick’ my budget? Don’t! Our ‘budget’ is a bare-boned as one can have. I only eat once a day and the4 same goes for Allen. Though I try to make sure that he eats more than I do, because he is working two jobs.

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There is no ‘play-room’ in our bills or expenses. Especially not enough ‘wiggle’ room for me to continue having Allen miss work to get me to and from appointments and treatments. You see, I explained all this; in the campaign ‘Mission Statement’, here on my blog, on Facebook and pretty much everywhere. “Either I raise the funds I need for; Transportation, Allen missing work to help me, and associated costs of treatment “or I stop treatment”! Here we are.

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You might notice that I have, again, started putting the ‘The Other Shoe eBay Store’ links at the bottom of all my publications. “YES!” I am trying to sell anything I OWN to make ‘ends meet’. If ‘I am lucky’ I will garner enough money, ny the 5^th of October, to pay my rent.

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So, here we are, just as I had predicted and feared. I am not sure just why nobody has reached out and donated. I know ‘what people are telling me’… but, I dare not think it true. Regardless of why I have reached the ‘end of my rope’ and find myself wedged between a rock and a hard place. I have given up treatment in hopes that I can manage to get October’s rent paid.

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This next week I hope to publish (most) of the regular articles that everyone enjoys. I will do my best to push past… and get some articles written. This week… well, it was just not gonna happen.

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That’s it, that’s all. I have done everything that I can imagine, and I am quite bereft of any ideas how to move forward and continue my treatment. I had really hoped that the campaign would garber support that I could use to replace income, and battle this cancer head on. Not going to happen… obviously.

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To the TWO people that did Help? “Thank YOU!” that’s that. Have a great Sunday.

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!

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PLEASE DONATE to

Danny's Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo

[caption id="attachment_3338" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Danny in Rolling Hills Estates August 12, 2014[/caption]

PLEASE GIVE!?!

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© 2010 – 2014 Hanning Web Wurx and The Other Shoe

The Hardest Decision of My Life

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[caption id="attachment_3514" align="aligncenter" width="630"] Danny PET OCM 9-3-14[/caption]

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Welcome back, My Dear Readers, to The Other Shoe. I come here, today, with a heavy heart and a troubled mind. Over the past four weeks I have, to the best of my ability, tried to relay information about my diagnosis of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Cancer. Even before any doctor gave my the diagnosis, I posted on Facebook, my impression that I might have cancer. That was in April of this year, the tumor was removed August 1^st and the diagnosis was August 8^th. However, I was fully aware back in April of my complete and total lack of the proper resources (enough food, enough clear filtered fluids, enough money to replace the time Allen would have to take off from work to help me) to battle my cancer AND keep a roof over my (our) head(s).

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Now, six months from the first mention, I am more than half-way through my Indiegogo campaign to raise the funds I need to battle this cancer and keep a roof over my head. In the twenty days I have run the campaign I have raised all of $50. Honestly, My Dear Readers, I may have exercised poor judgment, but I have already paid out more than that for promotion and Facebook advertisements for the campaign. I honestly thought that more people ‘seeing’ the campaign… well, “Cast a wider net to catch more fish”.

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With less than three weeks left, to the campaign, I have made a difficult and hard decision. I will no longer write articles about; my cancer, my adventure with cancer, my visits to doctors, my chemotherapy, or anything to do with my treatment or condition. I have seen my traffic decline, and with more than 210 ‘Shares’ on Facebook I have garnered only the support of two people. I fear that I risk loosing more of you, My Dear Readers, if I continue to write about my disease and my battle with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

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This was a very difficult decision to make, and I have given it a great deal of thought and consideration. My greatest fear is that; in pursuit of garnering more/further support for my personal battle with cancer I will loose more of you, My Dear Readers. I do not want to alienate my readership in the, obviously, vain attempt to raise money to help me battle my cancer. Therefore, as my health… and my reaction(s) to chemotherapy allow(s) I will continue to write and publish the regular articles here at The Other Shoe. For the duration of the campaign, I will continue to put a banner ad for the campaign at the end of the article. However, I will not mention the campaign. I will not write articles about; treatments, appointments, ‘staging’, or if the condition worsens.

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For those that might have… wanted to follow my progress? I would like to express my deep and heartfelt APOLOGY! However, I strongly feel that more readers were ‘put-off’ by the articles than people wanting the updates. I am not, nor will I, abandon the campaign, abandon my treatment for cancer… with one exception. IF my needs for treatment ($$$$) exceeds my MEANS… I will discontinue treatment. It is not just my life that depends on the monies that come into this household. Allen and Alexander BOTH depend on the roof the monies that come into this household provides.

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Therefore, if/when I ‘see’ that the continuation of treatment outstrips the disposable income then I will be forced to discontinue treatment for my cancer. You see, My Dear Readers, that was the problem from the very beginning. Even, back in April, I realized that we did not have the resources enough to; pay rent, put food on my table, pay needed utilities, and engage in a lengthy and expensive battle with cancer. You see, the cancer only effects one member of the household. The lack of enough money to pay rent and the bills effects all household members.

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I started the Danny’s Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo[1] for that basic reason. YES! I DID set a very high goal! I thought, to myself, ‘Why not TRY to raise enough money to; get a means of transportation for my family… that would carry my power chair and free the household from the embarrassment of public transportation, TRY to raise ENOUGH to get Allen OUT of Southern California.. and JUST MAYBE get him to a place where he CAN know the joy of a ‘White Christmas’… and maybe even I could enjoy one or two of those… again.

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YES, My Dear Readers, I did set a high goal on the off chance that generosity might prevail and I might leave behind a imprisoning station of life. That just maybe I could garner enough support to show Allen and Alex a ‘Better Life’ in a safer place with Four Seasons!

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I might well have damned the potential of the campaign, and curtailed my chances at beating cancer. I took a huge risk… it could still pay off.

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My Dear Readers, this will be (I will try very hard) to make this the very last time I talk about the campaign, my Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, my chemotherapy, my appointments, and everything to do with my cancer. I will continue to; make videos, take pictures, and document my battle with Cancer. I will keep these media to myself, Allen and Alexander.

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In conclusion, My Dear Readers, to those that might have been made uncomfortable these past four weeks? Made uncomfortable by my; asking for assistance, writing about cancer, writing about treatments, writing about the financially crushing effect of this diagnosis? I would like to express my deep and heartfelt APOLOGIES! I really mean that, My Dear Readers. It was never my intention to chase anyone away. And I fear that I might have done just that, which is why I am putting it to an end.

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Again, regrettably I am unable to stop the campaign at Indiegogo. Once it is started one must continue the campaign until the time is ended. I will place the small box at the end of every article. I would very much LIKE to REACH MY GOAL! However, I will do my very best not to make anyone uncomfortable with asking directly for your concern or financial support. To the two stalwart contributors; Jason Kleppinger and abv718 “I THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR KIND AND GENEROUS DONATIONS!”

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With that, I look forward to writing and publishing the regular articles that I know many of you, My Dear Readers, greatly enjoy.

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Thank you… for everything.

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!
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PLEASE DONATE to

Danny's Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo

[caption id="attachment_3338" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Danny in Rolling Hills Estates August 12, 2014[/caption]

PLEASE GIVE!?!

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© 2010 – 2014 Hanning Web Wurx and The Other Shoe

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[1]https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/danny-s-cancer-treatment-fund/x/753895

The Story of Daniel - Part Two - REDUX!

[caption id="attachment_184" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Danny and Darrell in 1959, I am the Blonde Driving[/caption]

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Welcome back My Dear Readers to The Other Shoe. Today is Wednesday September 3^rd, 2014. I am not at home, right now, I am actually at Orange Coast Memorial Hospital[1] having a ‘P.E.T. Scan’[2] done to my entire body. A P.E.T. scan is a Positron emission tomography scan, meaning that they use Positron emissions to create a ‘map’ of my entire body. Prior to putting me into ‘The Tube’ they inject me with a IV solution of D50W (a High density Glucose IV solution), mixed with a radioactive isotope. Cancer cells, and tumors, just love SUGAR! The cancer cells, and tumors, drink up the sugar solution and the radioactive isotope.

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Then when my body is hit with the Positron Emission the cancer cells, and tumors, light up like a Christmas tree! BINGO! Glowing cells and tumors! This will give my oncologist a much better idea of just where my cancer has spread to, and where all I have tumors! This takes about five hours, and I won’t be back home till after 5PM. Thursday, I am going for a Bone Marrow Biopsy at Los Alamitos Hospital.

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The Bone Marrow Biopsy is a simple removal of bone marrow from my pelvic girdle. They sedate me, and then drill into my butt cheek, down to the bone. Drill into the bone and draw out some bone marrow. Then the bone marrow is sent over to the pathology lab, where they will stain the sample and examine the stained sample under a microscope. Just LIKE the tumor removed from my jawline, they will discover if my Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma has entered my bone marrow. If that is the case, then they will add radiation therapy to my chemo schedule.

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They will ‘nuke’ my bone marrow to kill all of the cancer cells. Friday, I will have the ‘Porta-Cath’ placed under my skin near my clavicle. I still need an MRI done of my brain, again to determine if the cancer has reached my brain. My first chemotherapy is scheduled for Tuesday September 9^th, 2014.

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PLEASE DONATE TO Danny’s Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo![3]

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The following was written in September 2012 as a part of my campaign to raise needed funds for my Power Chair. I am republishing this series of articles because I am just too tired… to fatigued… and too depressed to write my regularly scheduled articles. I do not want to leave you, My Dear Readers, with nothing good to read. As well, I am hoping that, upon reading this story, you might decide that I deserve your support… and contribute to my Cancer Treatment Fund.

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My Dear Readers, I just sat thought a two hour orientation for my chemotherapy. All through the orientation I kept hearing, ‘You need lots of extra fluids-orange juice, flavored waters, fruits, Crytal-lite ANYTHING to keep you drinking Quarts OF WARTER BASED DRINKS ALL DAY to keep your liver from being damaged by these chemicals and the destroyed cancer cells and tumors, “YOU NEED LOTS OF HIGH CALORIE FOODS” to keep eating all through the day (lots of little meals all during the day NOT large meals twice or three times a day) TO BATTLE FATIGUE and HELP YOUR BODY RECOVER FROM THE CHEMOTHERAPY.

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My Dear Readers, I do NOT have fluids or extra foods. Allen and I have been (for the past YEAR) on a STRICT food schedule. We spend $5 to $7 dollars A DAY for FOOD. PERIOD! We do NOT have the funds Nor the budget to pay FOR WHAT I AM TOLD WILL PROTECT MY HEALTH AND BODY. This is the why behind my cancer treatment campaign. Without your help? My body will undergo terrible damage and I fear I will end up hospitalized. Can’t you PLEASE HELP?!?

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The following is ‘Part Two’ of ‘The Story of Daniel’. I hope that you all enjoy this work. Thank you!

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Episode Two -Formative Years & The Hannings Move to Pearland

The holidays, for the Hanning family, were an enjoyable and busy time. Starting in October, when the air became crisp and temperatures dropped, my father added a new duty to his agenda. He took on the creation and display of festive and seasonal decorations. Though my father never talked of it openly, he loved the holiday season. Oh, not shopping and not the cooking (that was Mother’s job), he just loved decorating the house for the neighbors. It almost seemed as though he regarded it as some ‘social responsibility’ to provide eye candy for the community and neighbors.

I never sensed he thought of it as; an obligation or competition it was his way of expressing himself. My father didn’t sing or dance or anything of that nature. Yes, he sang hymns at South Park Baptist Church but you would never see him bursting into song around the house of neighborhood.

Now, having said you might think that (like most Americans) Christmas decorations would have been his favorite outlet and forte. No, my father got a gas out of Halloween decorations. It started on Thrush Street, in Houston, but carried over to Francis Street in Pearland. I am not talking about just some paper decorations in the windows and on the doors. Oh no, that would not do for Ken Hanning. Like his activities in the garage, Danny was totally committed to doing everything he could to help make his father’s desires manifest in our home. I generally, would give Dad ideas. "How about a witch on a broom?" and "Oh, Dad, could we make it talk?" That is all it would take.

The first year that I have a clear memory of we went all out. First, I need to explain a little something that is kind of embarrassing. August 25, 1987 I was involved in an accident at my work, and this is where I believe all my problems with my neck an spine really had their start.

I was working in an ‘electronics’ storeroom at Target, on Pacific Coast Highway, in Manhattan Beach. I was doing a ‘visual inventory’ of a very high stack of stock literally minding my own business. This stack of stock was not on steel racks like everything else in the storeroom. It was between two shelving units and just kind of like the game ‘Jenga’. Well that day, even though nobody pulled anything out, from the very top of the 15-20 foot pile a Smith-Corona typewriter (still in the shipping crate) came tumbling down on unsuspecting Daniel.

The typewriter fell and struck me at the base of my skull @ my cervical spine. The impact caused multiple spinal cord contusions, closed head trauma, and loss of feeling and some use of my arm and leg. I was hospitalized for three months and then spent another four months in a rehab institute for Head Injured Adults. Since then I have difficulties remembering; some of my past and friends and even had a loss of memory of friends at that time. I have worked hard to rebuild my memory, but there are still ‘holes’… so, please understand. Thank you and now, back to my story.

"YES!" replied my father. That year he and I built a ‘witch’ sitting in an aluminum deck chair. She was scary, with the big black pointed hat and black robes and a really good witch mask. Hidden inside,was a speaker, and it was connected to an old intercom system that my father had salvaged from one of the companies he did electronic work for in the past. We ran wires that were well hidden from the back of the witch into a window and into my parent’s bedroom. He would stand inside the door and watch for children to come up the walk, and then signal me when they were in visual range of the witch. I would screech into the intercom and my screech and (then) high pitched voice would come OUT of the witch!

We made SO many children scream, and many ran away without getting their candy. And, as with all great things and accomplishments, there were ‘detractors’. I can’t tell you just how many parents came back with their children to ‘bark’ @ my father for "scar(ing) my children half to death!". And here WE thought that was the point of Halloween! I mean, the children all got their candy, and we generally gave out the nice ‘name brand’ candies; M&Ms and peanut butter cups and the like. But each and every year my father and I would build a witch, and make her talk and scare the neighborhood children "half to death".

Every Christmas we would get on ladders and hang lights on the eves and around the doors and the garage. We would put the tree in the front room of the house, right inside the bay window. I think I gained a feeling that, to be a ‘good neighbor’ you must contribute to the holiday season in your community. It was not enough to just decorate for the family, being a good member of the community meant you went that extra step. You got creative and tried, each year, to do something different and, bring life to the holidays. Now that I think about it, I think my father and his standard for entertaining the community at the holidays just might be where I started getting my sense of ‘showmanship’!

In school, I was a different boy. I didn’t like standing out. I didn’t like drawing attention to myself. While in Houston, it didn’t do too well in school. I mean, I generally passed and held my own, but nothing until I found choir. I remember being in choir in elementary school @ Madding Elementary. And, again, I didn’t stand out but I was part of entertaining the community. Through choir I was giving back to the school and community and being a part of something much large than myself in the process.

Then, suddenly, the Hanning family was out on the weekends looking for a new home. I understood why, I had listened to my parents talk and watched on TV as there were riots at the school my older brother Darrell was attending. It scared me a lot. I loved my brother Darrell; I still do, but back then…well. Darrell taught me; how to tie my shoes, how to play checkers and then chess. We shared the same room, until after we moved to Pearland and well… to me Darrell hung the moon.

Here is where I have more than a little whole in my memory. I don’t remember the family moving, I don’t remember when we first got there, and I have only vague memories of elementary school. I remember being sick a lot, when we first got there. I remember the smell of cloves in the choir room in the old elementary school. And one other thing; I distinctly remember feeling safer in Pearland. I remember my grades improved. The next block of memories I have, was starting at the new middle school. And, that, my kind readers, is where we will take this story up on Friday.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting my cause. Thank you for caring

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That, My Dear Readers, brings us to the end of today’s edition of ‘The Story of Daniel’. I am seeing just how short these chapters, are, and I am thinking that I am going to share more than one in the future. I hope that you, My Dear Readers, enjoy these looks back on my life and on my writing at this blog! That’s right, these articles were written by me, Danny Hanning, two years ago. My, how my writing style has changed and improved. My Dear Readers, I cannot stress just now difficult the past decade has been for me. Being struck by a falling typewriter (back in 1987) set it all in motion, and from 2000 on I have been plagued with failing health, growing tremendous pain, and progressively decreasing mobility.

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In spite of all of that I have done my best to keep busy… to “Keep Moving Forward!”. Now, I have been hit below the belt with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma CANCER! With limited to Spartan resources, my battle might well be quite short. With your, My Dear Readers, HELP? I stand a fighting chance of beating my cancer and not damaging my body, my liver, my kidneys… due to a lack of proper nutrition and proper amounts of fluids. I am NOT lying. I DO lack the money to purchase these ITEMS.

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Thank you for dropping by… and PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING TO Danny’s Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo![4]

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Adieu!

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Thank YOU!

PLEASE DONATE to

Danny's Cancer Treatment Fund @ Indiegogo

[caption id="attachment_3338" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Danny in Rolling Hills Estates August 12, 2014[/caption]

PLEASE GIVE!?!

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© 2010 – 2014 Hanning Web Wurx and The Other Shoe

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[1]http://www.memorialcare.org/orange-coast-memorial

[2]http://www.cancercenter.com/treatments/pet-scan/

[3]https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/danny-s-cancer-treatment-fund/x/753895

[4]https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/danny-s-cancer-treatment-fund/x/753895